


The Echo of Bells and Unheard Prayers

by TheFluffehGAMER



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, First Post, M/M, Possible addition of character list, bit ooc at points, darkish fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-05 15:05:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4184370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFluffehGAMER/pseuds/TheFluffehGAMER
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was born into a lovingly soft world with a twin clutching onto my stronger will and tossed into another made of stone walls and a judgmental society, called the Church. While my innocent twin moved away from my embrace, - who eventually found another to protect him- I crept out at midnight to see a glimpse of freedom.</p><p>I have called out for God for years before, wishing on falling stars for Italy's golden fields, but that time has long gone after I watched my world go up in flames and engulf that slice of heaven I had protected so dearly. </p><p>I am the scorned devil twin, who's name is lost in the ash and soil and instead a shadow of a smile and golden eyes.</p><p>However, there are those who beg to differ, who beg to God and wish on those cursed stars, that they would see the olive branches through the eyes of the soul that belonged to me, Lovino Vargas, alone.</p><p>For no one could love a demon such as I. No one could love the Bell ringer of Notre Dame.</p><p>[GOING TO BE REWRITTEN AND WILL RETURN]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cursed by Name and Scorned by Angels

**Author's Note:**

> Hello World!  
> Well, this is my first Fanfic probably ever written to the public, so I'm rather nervous, but hey, I'm here!  
> Any who, this is a Spamano Fic based both loosely and heavily on the movie/comic 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' with the added couple of side pairings. As such, the plot has been ridiculously twisted to have the characters fit as seamlessly as possible, as such I have added a 'prologue' of around 2 or 3 chapters, and it should be noted that I do not hate the characters I have placed in the 'Villain' role, I just feel that they would fit it best.
> 
> So, enjoy!

We were birthed in Italy, screaming and fighting to stay in our protective world, however, reality had other courses to run. Twins, we were, one with eyes of molten gold, another with dusty olive eyes. One with softer values, another with tarnished personality and we clung to one another, fear dominating our thoughts… but this piece of heaven that I clung to was the only thing I cared for and would protect -with my pitiful life, to the end.

 

But, fate did not shed its grace on us. As our wonderful mother, me, Feliciano and two others fled from her home, hoping to make it to Paris in one piece, we continued to grow in five years, personalities as different as white was to black. The only common traits were our looks, our lack of bravery and the unsettled love for one another.

 

The snow swept into our carriage, freezing our bones, as me and Feliciano clung to each other in fear as our mother pulled us away from the rhythmic clopping of horse’s hooves, which wordlessly spelt out our end. Our mother cried out at the stone steps at Notre Dame, hammering on the double doors, begging for entrance. I shielded my brother as the horses drew nearer, the guards tearing away our mother. In unison Feliciano and I cried out for her as she was struck down, blood filling the cobblestone’s cracks, feeding the demons under its soil.

 

We trembled as the finely dressed man slipped off his horse and moved towards us, periwinkle eyes gleaming maliciously behind glasses, dark ebony hair peppered with white flecks of snow. He motioned for one of the guards, who complied with the man’s wishes, aiming his sword at us, a set of twins, my body shielding what was left of my family, near still, save for the shivering.

 

As the moonlight turned the sword into a beam of light, I waited for my swift death, but fate decided that it would toy with us once more. The double doors my mother had so frantically been begging for her life at flew open in the flurry of snow, revealing a priest, the Archdeacon no less, his eyes violet and hair fair.

 

“Stop!” He screamed, eyes sharp and yet hesitant, “See there the innocent blood you have split, on the steps of Notre Dame,” He exclaimed, marching over to us, forcing the guard to back off with a snarl. “How dare you defy the law!” The other screeched, striding to stand in front of us. “How dare _you,_ ”The Archdeacon scolded, taking advantage of the extra height the steps gave him, his eyes hiding silent fury as he leveled himself with the Judge, “You commit such a heinous crime upon the steps of this church, in front of the eyes of Lord Almighty?!”

 

The Judge stumbled slightly, taken aback, his eyes clouding with doubt for a brief moment. It was lost, however, when Feliciano let a muffled sob against my back, my own eyes shining with tears and a determined, yet unsure, snarl. He recomposed himself, eyes hollow once again.

 

“What must I do?” He inquired, looking down on us with great distaste. The Archdeacon paused, mouth poised, ready to defeat the man without a true excuse. It was his wise words and humble ways that got the Archdeacon where he was, after all.

 

Eyes aflame, he spoke, voice filled with authority, “You must take care of the children,” He decided, nodding to affirm. The Judge snarled, “How can I care for them if I have no such thing as spare time!” He spat, eyes narrowed, “However… if they stay at the Church and taught in your ways, I can pay for housing and other possible needs,” He decided, hardly swayed by the Archdeacon’s words. The holy man paused, thinking it over. After a few seconds, he nodded slowly, refusing to shake the Judge’s hand when he extended it.

 

I continued to comfort my teary eyed brother, letting the shell I’d made to keep from being hurt break for the few moments I had to try quell his fears and reveal this brotherly nature, hardly standing to see my glimpse of heaven be so upset. Because, no matter how hard I tried to see him differently, Feliciano had few faults, and most were innocent and simply made from his pure intentions.

 

We shuffled alongside the Archdeacon, his face solemn and tired looking as he led us up the largest staircase I’d ever had the ‘pleasure’ of climbing. As he swept open a door, we were greeted with a spare room and a few blankets, our eyes gliding over the stone room with a single window. Hesitantly, we stumbled inside, our feet and eyes tired from the events of the day, too exhausted to complain about the cold. I immediately began to search for fabric of some sort to keep my shivering brother warm, while he struck up a conversation with our savior.

 

“S-sir, is- is mamma going to be alright?” He sniffed, my shoulders tensing as the unwanted memory stormed back, her limp body dyeing the snow red, her once graceful figure tossed haphazardly over the ground. I silently struggled with my tears, wanting to replace the growing fear with the happier memories I’d built up over my short time of walking on this earth. Before the Archdeacon could speak, I opened my mouth.

 

“Come Feli, your probably bothering him, w-we,” –sigh- “should get some sleep…”

“Oh no, he really isn’t-“

“W-what about mamma, Roma! She’s outside in the c-cold!”

 

I let out a muffled sob, wishing this night had not occurred, wishing I could curl up and let the same demons that had taken mamma steal me away too. But that would be unfair on little Feliciano, little Feliciano who was screaming at me with all the denial he could muster.

 

“What- Why are you c-crying? Roma, fratello, answer me!” He screeched, his sadness unbearable as I whirled around, staring at the stunned face of the Archdeacon and my brother. In my own bout of anger, I yelled back, “Because she’s not coming back!” The words bounced around in the room, processing in his mind. “She’s not-?” Feliciano whispered, my mistake quickly driving me closer to my twin, arms encircling the sobbing mess that was the last sliver of the Vargas family. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Feli, I didn’t mean to- I just wanted-“Breathing was almost as hard as the words as I let him cry, unable to look into the Archdeacon’s despairing eyes.

 

I slowly coaxed him to sit on my lap and cradle him, not like I was trying to be mamma, even though I would have to be in the years to come. His hiccups subsided into gentle breathing, golden eyes shut in a deeper sleep than usual, rather than scrunched in agony. I sighed heavily, only to realize with a small jolt that the stranger was still there.

 

“Are you alright, Roma? Would you like some food?” The Archdeacon asked, taking a seat in front of me, his eyes gentle and accented voice making me curious. “It’s Romano to you, and yes… please,” He added as an afterthought, cringing at the use of his brother’s nickname.

 

The Archdeacon laughed softly, a laugh that reminded me of the whistling of wind in-between the dried grass in Italy, as he tried to relieve the tension in the room. “My name is Tino, and I’m guessing Feli isn’t your brother’s name,” He said, his eyes twinkling in a motherly glow. “No, it’s a nickname because Feliciano is a mouthful,” I muttered, narrowing my eyes in distrust, but Tino only simply smiled sympathetically and left the freezing room, his brown night robe swirling around his slippers.

 

I tried to get as comfortable as possible without stirring Feliciano, pulling the coarse piece of fabric I’d found over us, cold stones pressing into my back like I was already buried beneath the soil. I sighed and hugged my brother closer, unwilling to voice how much I truly cared for him, no matter how many times I’d called him stupid and irritating. I closed my eyes and thought about all the times Feli and I had snuck outside in the early mornings to watch the sunrise while we stole a few tomatoes from father’s garden with our Grandfather’s help, deeming it a fun way to get back at his son for not feeding us enough, even though we all knew that was a lie with all the pasta Feli would scoff down.

 

I still remember biting into those dew covered fruits –or was it vegetable?- and laughing with Feliciano at his silly musings and odd comments of passing crowds while our eyes and hair were illuminated by the dim lighting that steadily gave us halos. I remember how strangers would call us angels with our white trousers and baggy shirts billowing in the morning breeze, simple children who wanted nothing more and nothing less in life except for love, more food and each other.

 

And to be honest, I would have never wanted it any other way.

 

* * *

 

 

The years passed with such seamlessness that I sometimes I would forget what the outside world was, and if there really was something beyond prayers and whispers in the confession booth. But those missing sounds of rustling leaves and sights of sunsets that turned the world into pure gold for a split second before fading into darkness left my mind to wonder endlessly about my home.

 

While Feliciano preferred to forget and instead focused on learning psalms and what notes he was messing up in choir, I would spend my time gazing out at the clouds and town in the tallest most unreachable places. It didn’t bode well for me, due to my pairing of a small amount of commitment and nasty attitude; I was quickly disliked among the priests and ‘holy’ men. There were only three who actually enjoyed my company.

 

One was the Archdeacon, Tino, who saw through my spiteful words to see wisdom beyond my years and a burning passion for adventure. It must have been because of what he saw on the-day-that-was not-mentioned-under-any-circumstance. He couldn’t have missed the sight of that compassionate and protective side over the clumsy and innocent brother I seemingly ignored, as there was no other reason for him to pine over my well-being and act motherly towards me.

 

The second was Priest Arthur, who was introduced to me by Tino after he heard me gushing to Feliciano about how I missed the outside world. It took me a bit to look past his enormous eyebrows and harsh words, but I quickly found he and I were alike, and that I enjoyed his sarcastic humour and stories of the world I never got to see.

 

He told me of his pilgrimages, and after nagging him for weeks, he finally relented and showed me his alchemy lab. Initially, I was just interested about the odd hobby, but I grew to quizzing him about various plants and flowers, to the point where he reluctantly agreed to teach me about potion making and the sorts.

 

I became more consistent in attending our secret meetings than going to Roderich’s stupid lessons. I didn’t mention him, did I?!

 

Well, Roderich is this Austrian who is actually the Judge who pays for our housing, and is our adopted father, even if he hates us and I hate him. I often hear him calling us ‘Gypsy Vermin’ when he isn’t satisfied with something we did, which is usually me, as he takes a shining to Feliciano like everyone else.  I mean, I don’t blame poor Feli, he is simply better at many more things than I and a generally happier person.

 

But back to Arthur, after he began teaching me about the different flora, ranging from exotic flowers that smelt like death to the ones sprouting in-between the cobblestones, he began taking me out to the graveyard to point out the various flowers that the townsfolk would leave and buying me books about the world for my birthday, ones that now had dog-ears and notes in both of our handwriting. And now, as Feliciano’s and my thirteenth birthday looms around the bend, I am slowly realizing how good friends I am with this eighteen year old who came into my life three years ago.

 

The last person whom I would call a somewhat friend, but more of a well-known acquaintance, is Francis. Honestly, I don’t know exactly how he’s still in church, considering everyone knows about his one-night stands almost every Friday and drinking days with the local jester, Gilbert, but it seems we accommodate him anyways.

 

We met when I was tasked to take people’s confessions in the dreaded booth, and I think he respected me for not laughing or making snide comments at him when he sat down and I listened to his repentance echoing from those paper thin walls and pouring out his heart to a stranger. I learned a lot from the heavily accented voice that day, how things don’t go according to plan, how the world is a truly cruel place and how we both wore a façade. His was a devout Catholic who was dedicated to doing the right thing and proving his loyalty to God. Mine an untroubled and head strong Priest in training who was deemed a demon by those around him, compared to his angel of a brother.

 

But honestly, we were broken creatures of the stars, staying awake a night for more than a shooting star. I wished for freedom, and he wished for a person to hold from more than one night. That person being the one and only foul mouthed Arthur, I found out in that booth.

 

After we had both cried for one another, it became a mutual agreement to vent to other, even if his tended to be a bit more sexual than mine. In turn, I asked him to show me how to dance, after he bragged for half-an-hour about it, which resulted in more secrets and meetings that I thought I could ever keep quiet about. I’m not too sure when, but we grew into friends, of a sort, unseen but not unheard.

 

These were the few people I’d dared to let in, dared to let them engrave their names on my mind and heart besides my fratello. My dearest fratello I’d never let go, even if he sometimes pushed me away at night, and yet clung the next.

 

And maybe, he pushed me away because of my horrible reaction to his anxious confession I had not expected the one evening when we stood on one of the highest bridges I’d ever seen and glanced at the people below without fear of heights…

 

“Fratello?” He questioned, his honey eyes gleaming with untold truths in the fading light. I dragged my own mottled green eyes from the crowds, a raised eyebrow and hum my words. He scratched at the back of his neck and tugged nervously at his wooden cross, gulping, “W-well, just don’t f-freak, it’s a bit sudden for you, yes, and I haven’t spoken about it to you, a-and I know you probably won’t approve-“He stuttered, annoyance finally getting the better of me as I snapped, “Spit it out, Feli, we don’t have the light on our side!”

 

He took a deep breath and gripped the stone railing tighter, squeezing his eyes shut, “I-I… I’m in love with Ludwig,” He squeaked, voice so quiet I hardly caught it. There was an eerie silence, one that spelt out a storm.

 

He dared to open an eye to look at my expression, only to frown at the lack of emotion. I was holding back that day, considering it had been a nicer day than usual, and that I was used to Francis’s ranting and raving.

 

I knew Ludwig. I didn’t like him all that much, mainly because he had frightened Feliciano one too many times for me to feel comfortable around him. He had pale everything really, from his flaxen hair to his near white skin. But as I considered the thought, I realized then that I had seen them talking multiple times, mostly with Ludwig blushing profusely as Feliciano hung off the toned male that was two years their senior.

 

I wasn’t angry at either of them. No, I was angry at myself.

 

He look terrified as I opened my mouth to speak, eyebrows furrowing as I struggled with the words. “Feli, why did you not tell me earlier?” I ground out, more insulted that he told me nothing these days, while I would tell him various secrets I hoped he would keep, the revelation that I was no longer the person whom he would seek for help or protection slowly setting doubt about my purpose in life.

 

His face contorted into a frown, unfitting on his soft features, unlike mine which had gained harsh lines from grimacing most of the day. “Because, you hardly listen to me anymore,” He exclaimed, narrowing his eyes in a rather frightful way, “You go off to Arthur and then I never see you for the rest of the day, and then you come and blame everything on me?!” I faltered, disbelief etched into my expression. I laughed, hollow and unforgiving, stretching my face in the wrong places. “Me? Not listen? You, receiving blame? Where have I been all these years?” I mocked, tossing gestures to the air, “How can I avoid the whispers of ‘Lovino’ and ‘Devil twin’ all day? Avoid the praises that follow after your name and the scorning after my new nickname?” I spat, growing in volume. “At least you are liked, blessed even!” I cried, my fists curled at my sides, “But I guess their right, because I’ve ever done is ruin!” I snorted, pivoting on my heel as I strode away from the last millisecond of the evening, the sun catching in Feliciano’s shocked and miserable eyes, turning them into a burst of pure gold and leaving me to struggle alone with my tears in the shadow of the church’s roofs once again.

 

As I lay in the rough sheet that night, I couldn’t help but curl in on myself and reluctantly plant the seed of self-loathing when Feliciano snuck inside, as if this wasn’t his room, as if he was the intruder. So, after waiting for what seemed like hours, I slipped out when I thought he was asleep, sheet fanning our behind me as I walked, barefoot, down to the candlelit corridors.

 

 Unconsciously, I let these unwanted emotions past my chapped lips, eyes burning with silent rage and disappointment in the warm light. A high yet gravelly tenor voice I was proud to call my own, echoed, with a sadness I had experienced long ago. And thus, I strolled in the dead of night in the cold place I loathed to call home, a melody strong and defiant, but haunted with low sweeping notes.

 

It did not last. A clatter of footsteps made my breath freeze in my throat, eyes wide in fear as I began to glance wildly around for a source of the noise to run away from. Clutching the piece of fabric tighter, I turned abruptly and began to sprint to the stairs, the rhythmic thumping of two pairs of footsteps making my heart beat faster.

 

I let out a rather girly scream when the sheet was torn from my hands and my body rocked backwards, knocking the breath from my body as my back collided with the cold tiled floor. Tears immediately sprung to my eyes as I tried to motivate my rag-doll body to move, a hurried voice piercing through the blur of my senses.

 

“-Seinto, lo seinto, ¿Estás bien?” The voice rambled on, the unfamiliar language making my nose scrunch as I groaned. “I d-don’t know what… you’re saying,” I growled, propping myself up to glare at the idiot who was wondering around in a church at some ungodly hour.

 

I was met with eyes that gleamed like the stained glass at sundown and a gentle, but worried expression. “O-Oh!” The stranger stuttered, his gaze relaxing slightly as he saw I wasn’t unconscious, “Are you alright?” He asked, my mind assuming that that had been his earlier question.

 

I slowly rose, gathering the material with shaking hands, my center of balance thrown as I swayed. “I-I think so,” I muttered, refusing to look at those caring eyes and tanned features. A frown passed in his features before he let a smile creep onto his face, the muscles seemingly used to that position.

 

 “What in heaven’s name are you doing here, anyway?” I inquired, finally meeting those enchanting eyes I refused to be swayed by, feeling the cool breeze slipping up my light brown night robes. The man paused for a few seconds, unsure how to answer, “W-well, I usually come to church to listen to the choir, so I know most of the voices there,” He confessed, my cheeks blooming as I guessed what he was going to say next, “And I heard a voice that I’d never had the pleasure of hearing! And so, I wanted to see the person who was singing…” He murmured eyes downcast as he shuffled his feet.

 

“Then you must be tone deaf, because I don’t sing well,” I dead-panned, snorting softly before walking to the steps, annoyed that my plans for tomorrow had probably been a bit ruined with the pain tearing at my back. “Wha- Hey! I’ll have you know I grew up with a family of musicians,” He replied, catching my wrist before I could walk up the stone steps, “And I know a lovely voice when I hear one!”

 

His compliments only served to redden my cheeks and to pull my wrist harshly from his strong grip, “Well then go listen to my damn brother!” I hissed, flinching at both the comment and the word choice. “Brother? Are you Feliciano’s sibling?” He asked, my patience wearing thin. “Yes, now go, whoever you are, and leave me alone!” I spat, his stupid grin only growing wider. “My name’s Antonio, what’s yours?” He questioned, my footsteps halting and words faltering, annoyance slipping into despair.

 

“I-I don’t know anymore,” I whispered, fleeing the confused man without hesitation, wincing as I felt a pain in my ankle slice up my leg, eyes hardly dry. I crept back inside, limping and sniffing softly as I collapsed in my uncomfortable bed, surprised to hear a startled yelp and tearful whimper.

 

“Feli, what are you doing?” I cried out, forgetting to keep my voice gentle.

 

“F-Fratello?” Feliciano gasped, disbelieving, “I thought you were-“I caught up immediately and pulled him close, burying my face in his hair as he muffled hiccups into my shirt. “No, I’d never leave you alone, Feli, don’t you remember me promising you that?” I sighed, kissing the top of his head. I felt him nod as he shuffled closer, curling up in my embrace. “I-it’s just what you said earlier, I…” He trailed off and I bit my lip, stiffening at the all too fresh memory.

 

It was rare when I held by brother like this, and even rarer when I sung him a lullaby, let alone do both at the same time. But today was a strange day, so it wasn’t exactly uncalled for.

 

He relaxed entirely as I placed the notes from memory, carrying the gentle tune with fleeting echoes of a song we’d listened to under the warm sheets in Italy. As my hands threaded through the soft locks buried in my chest, I couldn’t help but let my attention drift back to those annoyingly vibrant eyes that seemed to actually care.

 

My throat closed and my hand stilled, not wanting to pull on Feliciano’s hair as my own voice wreaked havoc in my thoughts. _“I-I don’t know anymore”_. I sighed shakily and readjusted our bodies, Feli’s breath even and deep, as I made sure that Feli wouldn’t end up rolling off the bed for the hundredth time.

 

I welcomed the silence of the stars and warmth of the human next to me, eyes slipping shut as sleep pulled me from velvet eyes and the shunning chorus of voices.

 


	2. A Tragedy of Errors

I kept the secret like a burden. Feliciano continued this fantasy of being with the tall blonde, who happily fed the flame and met with each other in the dead of night. Even if it terrified me that they would become as silent as the night, bathing in each other’s blood.

I shook off the invasive thoughts, pulling harder on the straps of my small pack, piling in the pocket money I’d pulled together by working around the Church. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, scooping up Roderich’s books and walking to our venue.

I easily ignored the entire lesson, having gotten bored by the monotonous drawl of the Austrian Judge years ago. “…I’ll see you both tomorrow, and don’t forget to do your Mathematics, Lov- Romano,” Roderich quickly corrected himself, not exactly looking sorry for the slip up. “It’s Lovino,” I mumbled, tired of using my old name that only brought back the painfully obvious lack of Italian accents rolling the ‘r’s so gently that it would give you shivers, whereas the harsh French accents spat it at my feet. He seemed taken aback for a few seconds, before that silent smirk of his gleamed in his eyes, “My apologies, Lovino.”

I sighed as I dumped the books on the floor, not bothering to sort through them properly, rather satisfied by the fleeting pieces of paper scattered on the floor. I rolled my eyes and glanced out the thin window of the storage room I’d arrived at twelve years ago, my body having filled out the most of the five year old chub, like my brother, to give both of us lanky and soft frames of seventeen year olds.

However, I had grown tired of these endless stone walls, and longed for the night to settle, so I could prowl the streets for at least half an hour, or an hour if I was cocky enough. These visits had begun when I’d figured out that I could climb down Notre Dame if I navigated from the bridge down to the graveyard, and the only witnesses were drunks, like Gilbert, who were deemed too inhibited by the alcohol to think straight.

 It had been terrifying the first time, with no light to see and no safety nets to catch my body if I fell, my only guide being my toes which were near numb. But now I could scale the stone bricks with ease, an added pro being that it continued to help my growing figure, which was more of a solid frame than chiseled abs.

Of course, I’d made Feliciano swear to not tell when he’d found out - which had caused him to have a breakdown (or heart attack, I couldn’t really tell) when he heard that I’d scaled a 86 meter height with a possibility of falling- after I messed up and tripped over one of the piles of books when I’d tried to sneak back into bed. And believe me when I say that Feliciano can be observant when he wants to be, not that my leather backpack and maroon cloak is hard to spot. He had lectured me for around an hour before I grew bored, not to mention irritated, and ended up shutting him up by bringing up his own ‘little’ secret.

It had also become a mutual agreement that he’d keep quiet if I brought him one pastry from a bakery I’d told him about after I’d spilled the secret –quite literally. I had debated telling Arthur, but I was terrified of prying eyes and all hearing ears, that seemed to follow my every step after the multiple slip ups that had occurred over the years. In fact, I was uncertain why they hadn’t thrown me out yet.

I went about my day doing chores and learning the last few steps of a dance Francis had showed me, something from a place he called Spain, where one of his own friends had come from and taught him. He had even gone on to talk about how amazing his friends were, however when I tried to ask more, he’d simply respond with and angry ‘Let me finish!’

So, trudging up the stairs to my room, I couldn’t help but let my feet fall in silly little patterns, keeping me from falling asleep from the familiar sights of stone walls, the steps resembling that fun dance Francis called Tango; even if he said it was only truly fun with a partner. Of course I had refused to be led in such an intimate dance with his wandering hands. In my thoughts, I nearly slammed head first into my door, hardly paying attention to the real world.

After grumbling about ‘stupid wooden doors’ and another grueling day of little to nothing, I slid under the covers of my bed, muttering a goodnight to Feliciano as I waited for the midnight toll…

* * *

 

My body jolted awake as the bell sunk into my skull, driving me from my bed with reluctance. It had taken a while to get into routine, considering the bell struck every hour. I crawled out, not bothering to try right my hair, even if I had never really had a true mirror to look into my entire life. I pulled on my small backpack, kissing Feliciano’s forehead before silently gliding onto the staircase up to the bridge.

As I broke into the open air, I immediately noticed a change. My eyes locked onto the bright lights at the square, the scene almost as if the sky had dropped a few stars as she undressed for the night. My legs suddenly shook, and my hands trembled, adrenaline coursing through my veins.

‘ _I could…’_ My thoughts began, racing with unimaginable images, of blues, reds and greens, ‘ _And there’s no one to stop me, no one to say no,’_ It continued whispering, my lips suddenly dry. “I can finally decide on something,” My voice creaked, unknowingly swinging a leg over the stone railing, instinct taking over, “Witnesses be damned,” I laughed, ending all possibility of turning back as I smoothly maneuvered down to the cobbled streets, the darkness my boat to a taste of freedom.

I dropped the last few feet, landing gracefully as I pulled on my shoes, my simple brown slacks and red shirt suiting the warm air of July. I reluctantly joined the crowds, eyes wide at the light cast from the lanterns and assorted coloured cloths handing from the roofs, and lampposts and beams and-

“Aye! Easy there, you’re gonna fucking be trampled by someone if you’re not careful,” A vaguely unfamiliar voice hissed, my vision rather overwhelmed by the sudden change in scenery. I would have scolded the man for using language, but my voice died as I glared into ruby red eyes.

“Gilbert,” I ground out, eyes narrowing as his face slowly split into a grin. The local jester began laughing uproariously as he recognized my face, tears filling his eyes. “T-The little… b-bloody rascal I keep s-seeing, oh my soul, and no one believed me,” He sobered up slightly to stand up straight, hands on hips, “I thought you were just from my imagination, not that I could hope to conjure up someone so cute,” He teased, setting my cheeks aflame. “Oi, I’m not f-fucking cute!” I yelled, his grin faltering at my fiery reply, my own smirk growing as I enjoyed the taste of swearing.

Sadly that didn’t last, as that shi- stupid grin bounced right back onto his expression. “Well, since you’re here, I suggest you enjoy your taste of the outside, since you constantly are sneaking out that balcony of yours, and what better way than to enjoy a night of dance, music and everything in between!” I was slowly beginning to wonder if his smile would split his face in two, because I didn’t seem to stop growing as he ranted, “So, little rascal, I present to you, the Festival of Avignon!”

It took me a few seconds to truly experience the sight, to try stop gulping it down rather than sipping. A rather painfully wide smile settled for those few seconds, before I regained my composure and rushed headfirst into the action, desperate to see _everything._

It didn’t take long for me to end up blowing most of my pocket money on pastries and the fascinating cuisine I’d never seen in my life, and throughout it all, I managed to somehow keep on this bright smile of something akin to wonder and awe on my expression. I was sure my face was going to hurt the next morning.

 After finding a high seat, above the stifling crowds and blinding lights, I leisurely watched the people, far closer than high up at that freezing bridge.  Slowly, the manic grin settled into a very soft upturn of the lips, a sweeter smile that I felt too afraid to show very often. But tonight was nothing near ordinary, and since no one was watching, why not let it show? Why not enjoy this precious time that slips through my hands like sand? Why don’t I just turn my back on that cold palace…?

The smile faded into a frown, sadness reaching its cold fingers to grasp around my lungs as I tried to draw in the warm summer air to ward of the constricting emotion. I already knew the answer before I thought of the question. Feliciano would most likely die of heartbreak if I left. Then again… He has that Macho-potato bast-idiot to love now; maybe he doesn’t really need me.

Maybe, just maybe I can finally leave on my own path.

I let that sneaky grin settle in again at the thought of running in the long dry grass, of the angry yells and soft giggles in the crowded street of Italy. Or better yet, exploring the places Arthur had told me about.

With renewed drive, I stood and startled down to the street, intending to go back before someone noticed my absence- as if. But a hand on my shoulder with a comfortable grip spun me around, leading to the unexpected.

 “It is you!” Axel? Abel? W-wait, no, Antonio – the damn name that had haunted me everywhere at the Church and under the stained-glass that never rivaled his gaze- chirped, the intoxicating eyes more bright than any light source I’d ever seen and more dazzling by the contrast created with the blood red shirt that hung loosely off his frame. “W-what are you talking about? I d-don’t know you!” I yelped, entirely caught off guard to the sudden appearance of the past. How could I forget when those words of praise seemed to melt into my being and warm it whenever I thought of those accented phrases?

He seemed upset for a second, before he tilted his head to the side, brows furrowed. “Don’t you remember? You ran up the steps before I could get your name, and I told you about how lovely your voice was and-” He continued, my blush growing in angry red splotches, rather than a charming dust. “O-okay, yes, you bastard, now leave me- are you pouting?!” I yelled a bit too harshly, thoroughly embarrassed and flustered as the bastard kept a hold of my shoulder and the expression of a kicked puppy. “I’ll have you know, my parents are happily married, thank you very much!” Antonio huffed, the teasing gleam in his eyes giving away the mockery in his exaggerated pout.

I scoffed, and brushed away the hand, hoping to make yet another escape.

“Whatever, I’ll see you around-“

“Wait-!”

I spun around, irritation and nervousness multiplying by the minute, tapping my foot in impatience as I waited for his reason to keep me behind. “You never told me your name,” He sheepishly grinned, my entire body tensing with my foot poised in mid-air, “And I was wondering if you’d tell me?” I snorted angrily, sneering at his friendliness. “Hell no,” I growled, once again turning to leave, but the sudden yank on my cloak prevented any escape.

I sighed in defeat and faced the gleaming eyes and playful smirk, “You realize I’m not leaving you alone till I get your name?” I nodded slowly, tearing away from that intense gaze, very ready to agree with many things to get back to my prison. I jerked my cloak from under his foot, rolling my eyes before shoving past him, my frown not reaching my eyes. The annoying laughter drove into my skull as the bastard happily strolled along with me, his own rambling fueling the conversation.

I quickly adapted to my surroundings, my faith abandoned as I quickly took to swearing, enjoying the fact that I could finally add proper fire into my rage. However, Antonio didn’t seem that swayed by my various curse words, in fact he’d sometimes laugh and coo at how red my cheeks got from my anger.

Soon, we strayed onto the topic of family and friends, the conversation taking a plunge into the deeper unknown corners of our lives. “I don’t have many close friends, most people are assholes anyway,” I grumbled, my eyes softening as my attention returned to thoughts of my brother, “But… my brother is the one person I will protect till the end.” The tomato-bastard, as I called him after he scoffed down five of the tantalizing fruit, going as far to buy one for me and trying to force feed me, smiled gently, his eyes sparkling in interest.

“You care a lot, don’t you,” He mused, nudging my shoulder playfully. For the umpteenth time that night, I blushed bright red, placing a hand over my growing smile, that laugh I’d come to lo-hate set fire to my blood as he tried to pry away my hands. “Maybe a little,” I reluctantly admitted, trying to bat away his hands with my free one, finally managing to rein in my smile and force the corners down. “So, who are your friends, tomato-bastard?” I asked, halting abruptly to watch the dancers, nearly causing said bastard to crash into me.

“Oh! Well, here in France, there’s Gilbert and Francis-“

“Wait, do you mean Francis Bonnefoy?”

“Why, yes! How do you know-“

“So are you the Spanish guy?”

“W-well I do come from Spain,” He confirmed, taken aback by my sudden interest and invading of personal space, my eyes filled with wonder as I leaded too far forward. I took in the distance between our faces, causing me to stumble back, face quickly flushing. “O-oh, wow, um- w-well that’s interesting,” I stuttered, struggling with my rather impulsive curiosity. “Oh come on, don’t be so shy!” He chuckled and waved his hand, taking a step closer, which immediately made me take a step back. He gave me a questioning gaze, eyes swirling with an emotion I couldn’t place in the bright lighting. But when he continued to advance, and I continued to move back, I didn’t expect to nearly trip into the dance circle. And I quickly realized the emotion was mischief, judging by the shit-faced grin he was wearing.

My breath caught, and my bones froze, eyes wide with worry. I tried to backtrack but was met with a very much solid Spaniard. “Better give the audience what it wants,” Antonio whispered into my ear, chills of excitement and fear falling in rivulets down my spine. I sucked in a large lungful of air and whirled around, heat cascading from my ears down to my chest. “I’m not doing this, Antonio,” I hissed, trying to move past him, only to be tugged into his arms and swung in a wide arch and back again, my breath being snatched away as he sneakily grinned. I exhaled heavily and listened to the beat, the lively strumming of a lute of some sort causing my body to relax. As soon as the tomato-bastard felt the sudden lax in my frame, he began guiding me, not like I didn’t know what I was doing.

Our eyes locked, and I just couldn’t contain the cheeky smirk as we moved, our bodies melting into one another as our feet sped up, hardly paying heed to the crowds gathering around. All I could feel was the sway of our hips and the safe feeling of Antonio’s rough hands as I drowned in those breath-taking green eyes, a smile unknowingly pulling on the corners of my mouth.

It ended how it started, locked in a lover’s gaze and our bodies pressed against the other, the only exception the sweat and wide expressions of happiness in our eyes and lips.

The applause was drowned out by those watery depths I sank into, Antonio’s hand still applying pressure to my thigh and his eyes hazy with something akin to- I broke the surface of the water, his enchantment ending as I turned my gaze away, retracting from his comforting grasp with an expression of fear, uncertainty. “I-I have to go…” I suddenly muttered, making the escape I should have made when the moon was still high and the sky still peppered with millions of stars.

I ignored the second set of hurried footsteps, the cries of “Wait!” smothered under my own heartbeat. As I turned a corner both footfalls stopped in a pause of silence as the sky began to turn orange at the seams, my destination around 86 meters in the air. “I told you I wasn’t letting you leave without knowing your name,” Ant- the tomato-bastard stated, his steps gentle, cautious, as if I was one of those cats that Feliciano likes to coax out of their hiding spot. Yet, maybe I was.

“Lovino Vargas… goodbye Antonio,” I deadpanned, rushing away just as his fingertips brushed the maroon cloak, dawn’s persistent rays turning my hair into a halo for a blinding second before the bright light faded to leave the Spaniard to ponder, alone.

* * *

 

I didn’t dare try climbing the tower at three in the morning, especially due to my tired limbs and fluctuating concentration.

 _‘Why must he be so persistent?’_ I wondered, heaving my shoulder into the oak doors of the great cathedral. But when the door opened, I did not expect to be met with dead silence, with the exception of muffled sobbing.

I walked forward warily, my hood draw to hide my face. I dropped the act though as soon as I saw the familiar black robes and pristine blonde hair.

I rushed over to Francis’s side, brows furrowed as his weeping halted. “R-Roma- Lovino?” He questioned blue eyes glassy from the tears. It hurt to see the prideful man so melancholic, especially because of the startled expression he wore.

“Yes, it’s me you dumb-“

“Have you spoken with anyone?”

“N-no, why are-?”

“Listen to me, w-whatever you hear about me, I want y-you to know that I was forced… they threatened Arthur a-and Gilbert’s life as well, I had no choice,” He whispered, rocking back and forth, curling around his clenched hands. My whole body wanted to collapse, the joy I’d felt twenty minutes ago fluttered out as if someone had poured water over a burning candle. “W-where’s Feli?” I asked, my temper growing when Francis flinched at the name, “Answer me, damn it!” I screamed, Francis frame shaking like a leaf under my onslaught.

I hardly caught the words he breathed, but when they were spoken, I knew he wasn’t coming back. And yet I still ran up the stairs, sobbing echoing in the halls.

_“The prison… to be burned for infatuation with another man…”_

* * *

 

The wooden door I’d been cursing yesterday betrayed me once again when it failed to protect me from the intruders. It slammed open, causing me to curl up even more, not wanting comfort, but my baby brother. Sadly, Roderich strutted in, nose high in the air as he once again watched me with distain like all those years ago.

“So the vermin returned to its nest,” He stated, eyebrow raised as my head snapped up from the pillow. “ _You_ ,”I hissed, chest heaving with pure rage. “ _You fucking monster!”_ I roared, moving in one entire movement as I tossed a punch only to be blocked by one of his many henchmen, their hands clasping my forearms as I struggled in their iron grip. Tears blurred my vision as I glared at my bastard of a care-taker, a small part of me pleased with his shocked expression.

“I should have guess that you’d become corrupt one day,” He sniffed, regaining his composure swiftly, “Although, I think you’ve always set on this path, _demon child_ ,” He sneered, my spit quickly deterring the aristocrat. “Augh, children these days,” He drawled, narrowing his eyes at me as he began striding up the stairs, confusion quickly trampling on my anger.

“Why are we going up?” I growled, not incredibly happy with being man-handled. “I’m going to show you something,” He replied, opening the double doors to the bridge in one over-dramatic movement.

I gasped at the view, not out of awe, but in total horror.

I saw my counterpart, far below, struggling to try free himself from the men as his chains rattled all too loudly against the cobblestone floor. I felt the grip on my arms slacken, and my body moved on its own accord, pulling out of the guard’s hold to rush to edge of the bridge, hands seizing the railing with a white knuckles.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I saw the long pole with hay strewn around its base, the pained look of the priests, torturous, the choir’s mournful voices sounding as if someone was screaming. And it scared me that Feliciano would be screaming too, all too soon.

My vision kept falling in and out of focus; the steps Feliciano took seemed swayed and unnatural, made worse by the dragging of his feet. And as he was forced to be still as the ropes bit into that soft figure high up on the pole and his piercing cries for help made me want to never hear music again, I found my voice, my cracked and broken voice.

“Feli!” I screamed in desperation, watching his head shoot up to rest on us, his expression pained and oddly calm as he saw my despair. It was hard, so hard, to swallow past the lump in my throat and get the words out. But I knew that he needed to hear it one last time.

“I l-love you!”

I bowed my head as the smoke rose, hearing the odd cry as the flames were lit, the grating sound of horse’s hooves reminding me of that dreadful day we arrived in Paris. It reminded me that I was the last one. It reminded me that my twin was currently suffocating or being burning alive, the reason was because he loved a man who cared.

It also reminded me of the fucking bastard standing right next to me.

Without warning, my fist collided with that prissy ass face, a satisfying crunch falling under my knuckles. He howled as one of the guards slapped me hard across the face, sending me reeling into the floor. And I still grimaced as the smoke continued to rise.

And still, I stood even though my legs refused to stay steady under my weight. And I still listened even though I couldn’t hear the shouts and the tolling of the bell while the horse hooves galloped away from the forsaken brother.

And I still wept when Feliciano wasn’t there for our eighteenth birthday.

* * *

 

July the 26th was the day I watched my piece of heaven go up in flames, and crashed into the pits of hell, never to see the golden glory of an angel’s smile. Not even a shadow of a memory remained. My mind had crumbled what hurt too much to remember.

And yet, it was the 25th of July the day before.

That was the day I truly felt like a sinner, and my, oh my, had it felt fucking good. It was the day I indulged in everything I wanted and nearly kissed the man with eyes of heated passion and warm summers.

But today is 25th of July, once again, and nostalgia has kicked in for the fifth year in a row.

And the bells won’t toll all by themselves, you know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we finally move onto the main arch, yay.  
> Hopefully it doesn't get more depressing from here on. Also note, I do not have a proof reader and I don't use the American way of spelling, so some words might be different and such.


	3. Falling Stars Aren’t Made for the Stage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all current readers:  
> Please note that I have changed the time jump from two years to five, and a few things have been changed since the previous chapter, so do go back to the last paragraph to make sure you understand where we are up to now.
> 
> This took a lot longer as I kept getting distracted, however due to this panning out to be a bit larger than I expected, it is likely to be finished in four or five more chapters? And as I'm on holiday, it will be easier to write a lot more. I'll probably start another Spamano/Gerita fic straight after this one as I have a bunch of AUs that they could both fit into.
> 
> This is my awkward little intro and update, enjoy!

The sun brought warmth to me -and me alone- on these stone columns in the early mornings. The candle spluttered, echoing the hour, reminding me of my duty. With a sigh as heavy as the bells themselves, I stood and hoisted myself up onto the platform, the single thick rope waiting for my arms to pull it.

Taking a defiant grip on the rope and yanking with a mighty heave, the copper bells swung as they drummed into my head, leaving my thoughts and hearing scrambled. Not like Roderich hadn’t done that.

The burning intensity of the flame in my heart had died two days less than five years ago. All that remained was a candle drenched in the waters of sorrow and self-loathing. And somehow, I still managed to feel flutters as I thought back to July 25th 1477, the tattered and faded memory of a pressure on my thigh and spiced breath ghosting over my face. But the vibrant velvet eyes remained entirely untouched, a gem in my cluttered memory.

Even that, however, gave way to the shrill scream of my brother and the choking smell of burning flesh.

I stumbled back to my open room, grief slowly placing cotton over my senses in hopes to numb the reoccurring dreams of ecstasy and torture. I steeled myself, like usual, and pulled myself back to the bright and unforgiving world.

I exhaled slowly, glancing at the walls around me, covered in stained glass and drawings, the sketches nothing like the one’s Feliciano would produce. The many drawings were of the people of France, the deceased and vague snatches of memory, such as Arthur’s alchemy lab and Francis-

 _No! No, I don’t think of him,_ I scolded myself, eyes narrowing at the exact image of Francis caught in mid dance, his frame elegant and smirk wide. Often that smirk was replaced with the grimace and the form contorted into a curled ball. He had done the unforgivable; therefore, I wasn’t going to forgive him for _fucking murdering Ludwig, and then having the audacity to ask for forgiveness!-_

I stopped myself from nearly tearing the page in half. I halted the tears beginning to overwhelm my sense, and instead just put the paper away with the other memories that hurt too much to remember. Such as Feliciano’s wide grin and the unfortunate image of Ludwig and Feliciano kissing in the moonlight, a memory that was unexpected and very much embarrassing on both parts.

I returned to my solace in staring out at the people far below, wondering what I could throw at them to entertain me. After the death of Feliciano, people quickly assumed that the mysterious figure in the bell tower was the ghost of the boy manifested in anger and grief, which wasn’t all that far off. I was angry and grieving, and probably part demon, as that’s what everyone told me. And I believed them.

I hummed softly to ease my troubled thoughts, unwilling to try draw just yet. However, my keen hearing –even if slightly damaged- picked up the slight rustle of pages and soft jingle of instruments-

I stood swiftly to face Alfred, who screamed aloud in utter fright, right on time for once. “Jesus, dude, how the hell do you hear me coming?” He gasped, bending over to recover from his heart attack. “You’d expect a seasoned Assassin to be quieter,” I sneered, crossing my arms and moving away from my oak table, leaving the teenager to follow. “Oh, come on! Give me a break you old man!” The nineteen year old whined, obediently following me like usual. I snorted, amusement apparent but not entirely voiced, “You are only four years younger than me, boy,” I drawled, rolling my eyes at his shenanigans, “Is Matt coming? Heavens forbid if Sadık appears.” “What? Is my company not enough for you?” He teased, my frown only deepening, “I think they’re both actually- Mattie!” He screeched into my ear as the hyperactive human raced past me to nearly tackle his brother off of the 96 meter drop.

“Cut it out you two!” The familiar Ottoman hissed, his stupid mask covering his annoyingly golden eyes, the softer of the two sighing and pushing his brother off him before walking over to hug me, throwing me off guard as usual. “Hey, Lovi,” He near whispered, my features becoming less harsh as I awkwardly patted him on the back, still unused to his hugs after three months.

I could empathize with Matthew Williams, considering his brother outshone him in sheer volume and obnoxious behaviour, similar to what my own brother would do, both unknowing of the damage. So after his brother took on a dare to sleep in the ‘haunted’ bell tower for a night and instead stumbled upon a very cranky me, and like the dumbass he is, he fled immediately. The next night, his brother had showed up to prove that there were no such things as ‘ghosts.’

_“Don’t be silly Alfred! There are no ghosts here, eh,” Matthew sighed, pulling his reluctant brother along. “B-but Mattie, I saw one, I swear!” Alfred exclaimed, his teeth chattering from fear rather than cold. The male called Matthew rolled his eyes, oblivious to my presence in the darkness. “For someone who’s constantly exclaiming that their ‘the hero,’ you’re really not that brave, eh,” He snickered, my ears straining to hear his soft voice. I grew tired of simply watching the two brothers amble around in my home, especially when the louder one began to stare and touch the bells._

_Near cat-like, I fell from my hiding place, landing next to silently. I crept up behind the blue-eyed teenager and ever so quietly whispered a simple word, my smirk growing wider by the second, “Boo.” The effect was immediate. Alfred jumped out of his skin with a shrill screech as I fled from the pair, not willing to be stabbed by the various knives on their person._

_Matthew, however, pursued me- a bad mistake if you ask me. I easily slipped into the area above their heads, the sudden sound of whirling air sliding past my left ear. My eyes widened in surprise, taking in the red feathered arrow lodged in the wood next to my head. Panic over took common sense, and with practised ease, I scrambled higher, only to be followed._

_“Who are you?!” The usually gentle voice yelled as loudly as possible, bow draw with another arrow aimed at my neck. I stopped moving and simply stared, trying to get my breathing under control. “T-that’s none of your- chigi! “My argument and hair was cut short by a well-placed warning. “Answer my question, eh,” I gulped at the tone, letting my guard down if it meant I would live. ”Well, that’s a very long story…”_

Sadık, however, was a different story entirely. He had heard of a contract that required an assassin to kill the bell ringer so the client could steal the bell, Emmanuel. However, he misjudged my strength when he came armed with only a knife in hopes to make it in and out by murdering me in my sleep. Unluckily for him, I was already up that night, sitting in the rafters of the bells and singing along with the silence after I’d woken up from flames with tears in my eyes. I’m not too sure why he decided it was a good idea to walk in on someone’s territory, but he was clearly determined and tried to locate my voice by getting lost in the maze of bells, like the cocky bastard he is.

The encounter he got wasn’t much to his taste, being pinned to the floor with his own knife to his throat after I dropped down on top of him, clearly showed he had not been expecting a lean and healthy teenager to best a muscled assassin. Not like he had been one for a while, in fact it was his first job off of training.

I had let him go with a warning, only to have him return to try stealing from me. And once again, I bested him, well I thought I did. That was until I knocked off his white mask. The memories came back, relentless and painful as I screamed bloody murder and covered my eyes to those rusty golden orbs that were too close to another’s.

He had been generally terrified, as I raved on and on about promises and failures. He had eventually sat beside me and offered me comfort, which I instinctively rebuked, finding that every detail of this man was some piece of my past. Tanned skin, eyes that gleamed of summer sunshine and his large eyebrows… it was that feature that made me finally relax enough to stand, shakily but determined to face this man confidently rather than cowardly, it would be what Feliciano wanted.

“ _Go on! Finish the job!” I hissed, the stranger’s eyes narrowing in confusion as he stood without a weapon. “Finish what? You’re deranged and not worth my time, all I want is your cash” He deadpanned, causing my burst of courage to falter. I lowered my fists and frowned, the unbreakable shell I’d built finally cracking from overuse. “There’s no money here, asshole, now take your fucking disgraceful behind out of my sight, ” I snarled, turning to my safe haven, the rafters from which the bells hung, my fleeing instinct taking over._

_He seemed rather amazed, considering he gasped, when I gracefully leapt from beam to beam; climbing higher and higher until the moonlight created a halo around my body and my eyes reflected a clinging sadness. He stood still for minutes, simply staring at the regal appearance above him._

_“You’re no demon… are you? You wouldn’t even kill me if and when I had attacked you,” He murmured, more to himself then me, my gaze flickering to the window on my left._

_“No… I am a shadow.”_

He had rushed back to his guild to speak about the inhabitant of the bell tower, which only gave him snickers and taunting. Unbeknownst to him, two twins listened intently, a growing feeling of fear in their minds.

_“If he goes and blabs to the whole town, someone’s gonna listen, eh,” Matthew hissed to Alfred, casting worried glances to Sadık. “I know dude, but how are we going to convince him not to tell everyone about Lovino?” Alfred replied, his frustration showing by the way he bounced his leg and clutched his mug. “Leave it to me, eh,” Matthew said, trying to relax his twin, “I’ll talk to him and maybe we can give him a proper introduction without him slitting Lovi’s throat.”_

And that’s exactly how it went. After Matthew pulled him aside and chatted to the hot-headed man, he managed to coax him back, to both apologize and make a few promises to me, which I grudgingly accepted. I quickly noticed how he fretted over me like a mother hen, and never admitted to being wrong. He became a regular visitor along with Matthew and Alfred.

And thus he completed this fucked up little support group, or family if you’d prefer.

Alfred quickly began rambling about the festival, which only brought back the butterflies and fears, the sweat and music. Matthew noticed how I had tensed and my foot had begun tapping out an unheard rhythm, my eyes gazing into nothing. “Are you going to the festival, Lovino?” He asked, nudging my shoulder for a response. “No,” I responded without hesitation, the harsh lines on my would-be handsome face ruining the soft features as I frowned.

 “Why not?”

“Why do you think? Master Roderich will kill me if I left this shitty tower, let alone without his permission…”

I hardly registered that Alfred and Sadık had stopped their conversation to listen to ours, my fire flickering in my eyes. And I hate to say that it was Alfred who came up with a damn brilliant plan. “Hey! You know how Roderich loves music and stuff? I heard from a little birdy that he’s gonna be conducting in one of the orchestras, one of the late ones like at midnight, like how fucking weird is that?” He laughed shrilly, causing all of us to cringe slightly as he continued, “So, you can sneak out, while one of us stays up here and rings the bells! Like you’ve explained it to us so many damn times, not that we weren’t interested dude, but seriously, you need to get out before you become attracted to a giant hunk of metal.”

He must have picked up that it was a good plan, as we all silently gave each other looks and even Sadık couldn’t seem to fault it, indicated by the opening and closing of his mouth. “I hate to admit it, but the bastard seems to have come up with a full proof plan,” I mused, my lips quirking upwards in a display of appreciation. “I agree, eh,” Matthew voted, nodding slightly. We all turned to Sadık, who was still not exactly excited about the plan. “Are you sure you want to do this, Lovino?” He asked, his brows pulled together in a show of worry, his brain probably still trying to work out the possible outcomes.

I paused as pressure was placed on my shoulders, my eyes casting downwards as I thought hard about the consequences. After a few minutes, I slowly nodded eyes gleaming with pure delight, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

To cut it short, there was a loud amount of squealing on Alfred’s part and a lot of hugging from all three, which nearly ended in me punching all of them out of reflex.

“We’ll start preparations this evening and work out shifts then,” Sadık confirmed, giving a farewell pat on my shoulder before the odd group of assassins left me alone once again, reminding my body about how drained it was.

But I did not expect to suddenly pass out halfway to my bed.

* * *

 

I woke to a nudging of my shoulder, forcing my eyes to crack open to the blinding light of the afternoon. I grumbled softly, before I realized who was probably here. I scrambled to my feet, hair in disarray and eyes wide with shock.

I looked into the periwinkle gaze that constantly seemed bored, before that glimmer in Roderich’s eyes reappeared. “Sleeping on the job, hmm?” He sneered, placing the basket containing lunch on the various papers strewn across my desk. I had been careful not to draw Sadık, Alfred or Matthew, no matter how much they asked me to.

“Sorry, master,” I replied, reminding myself to not look into his eyes, but rather show obedience. I hoped it would get me out of this prison faster. I heard the scratching of two chairs being pulled out, prompting me to fetch the cutlery and dishes for the picnic he always prepared.

I returned to look at the bread and pieces of fruit, or even the possible pastry if I was lucky, before placing the various items on my precious sketches, hiding a wince. He happily dished for me, a gentle and yet cold smile causing me to be submissive. He did house me instead of kill me the day I nearly knocked him out, I’m not entirely sure why, though. I mean I gave him a broken nose and then continued to insult him as he dragged me up to the bell tower, leaving me in there for around three days without food or water, hoping to quell my defiance.

Somehow, over the five years, he had been successful.

I was careful, often fearful around this man who had condemned my brother to die, while he left me to wallow in misery for the rest of my days, making sure I never escape into the outside world by feeding that seed I’d planted the night I’d begun to accept the cruel words of the priests.

“Shall we begin with your alphabet?” He asked, carefully slicing into the fresh bread, while I cut larger pieces to only hope that it would satisfy my stomach. “Y-Yes, sir,” I ground out, swallowing the delicious bread.

“A?”

“Abomination,”

“B?”

“Blasphemy,”

“C?”

“Contrition”

“D?”

“Damned,”

“E?”

“Exorcism,”

“F?”

“Festiv- Forgiveness! Forgiveness,” I stuttered, my mistake already noted. “You were going to say festival, weren’t you?” Roderich hissed, eyes narrowed as he stood and scuffed me around the head, making my ears ring. I shivered slightly before attempting to speak, “I-It’s just that there’s a-a lot of new people down there and I’m just n-not used to it…” I rambled, trailing off at the judging stare.

He sighed heavily, and once again I heard those gravelly notes, scrunching my eyes closed as I sang along with my rehearsed parts, already feeling guilty about making the mischievous plan.

“…Why invite their calumny, and consternation? Stay in here, be faithful to me,”

“I'm faithful,”

“Grateful to me,”

“I'm grateful,”

“Do as I say, obey, and stay…”

“I'll stay,”

“In here,” We finished, my chest clenching painfully as he threaded his fingers through my hair. “You are forgiven. But remember, Lovino, this is your sanctuary,” He proclaimed, strutting out in that awkward manner that was only characteristic of him.

I groaned and buried my face in my hands, forcing the last pieces of food down my throat before checking the time by the sun. _‘I have about two hours before I have to ring the damned bells,’_ I thought, taking a deep breath before letting the lyrics slide out, leaning into every note as I flitted about the bells, watching the people as I spotted all the familiar faces.

“Out there, where they all live unaware.  What I'd give, what I'd dare, just to live one day out there!” My voice carried through the bells, filling the empty air with the lively melody.  The world seemed brighter as the last note vibrated through the small space, unknowingly letting a smile creep onto my lips, lighting up my eyes far more than any other light source could.

I basked in the sun’s glow for a few seconds more before I leapt down and grabbed a sheet of paper and began to sketch, hoping to pass the time faster, as my guilt melting away to excitement.

The hours melded into each other as anticipation continued to build in my stomach, the pile of papers at my feet showing the hours in which I’d been sketching, taking regular breaks to eat or ring the bells.

So no one could really blame me for nearly falling off my pedestal when the silence was disrupted by the screeching of a certain assassin. “Broha! We’re here!” Alfred’s sudden racket making my heart splutter as the groupie began looking for me.  I dropped down from my hiding spot, successfully making the loud mouthed teen jump when I landed near silently in front of them. “Are you trying to kill us?!” Alfred breathed, recovering from my sudden entrance. “Says you!” I scoffed, turning to my other two visitors, “So, we going to stand around until the fucking sun comes up or figure out this shit out?” I huffed, Sadık’s grin growing wide as he strolled back to my table, snatching one of the blank pages to write on.

“Okay, so I’m thinking that we all will have to work and give Lovino two hours to do what he pleases,” He explained, putting down what he thought on paper, three sets of eyes examining his neat handwriting and diagrams. After passing around the page for a couple minutes and making some alterations, we had the plan set out, which hopefully would eliminate all possibilities of something going wrong.

Alfred would be the bell ringer for two hours, due to his arm strength and excellent hearing. Matthew would follow me around to make sure that if anyone ended up recognizing me, I’d be able to get out fast enough, and also because they all worried that I would get lost or be stolen. Sadık would stay with Alfred and keep an eye on Roderich and send a signal to Matthew if he suddenly decided to make a surprise visit which was relatively likely.

They decided to spend the last hours explaining the possible places I could go to, which were the best food stalls and arguing over said topic while I changed into a new set of clothing and clipped on the deep maroon cloak I’d worn so long ago, the fabric still in pristine condition from tedious attention from my own hands.

I once again slipped on the reassuring weight of my trusty leather backpack, both anxiety and joy boiling my blood to the point where I couldn’t stand still and instead let my feet slide into the old dance steps I’d practise when I was nervous.

The assassins watched with interest, Matthew in particular. I hadn’t even noticed how they had stopped looking around for anything I might need or the hushed whispers passing between them. I really only stopped when Sadık coughed, mainly because it was nearly eleven, which meant I would be descending soon.

“Lovino,” He chirped, eyes gleaming with amusement as my cheeks lit up, my body defaulting to standing in a soldier-like fashion, “It’s time for you to get down there.” I took a deep breath and exhaled, tiny smile plastered on in hopes to try hide my shaking hands and nervous twitches.

And just like that, the night started.

* * *

 

Even though I knew Matthew was following every step, I was skittish as the alcoholics and party animals danced and drunk the night away. I had pulled my hood up fully to hide my face, tying the drawstrings so it wouldn’t fall off if I had to run.

Once again I had gone around buying more food than I’d ever hope to eat, deciding that maybe Mattie would like something. As I turned after gently taking the brown packet of French pastries and ciabatta, I tried to shove my way through the crowds, overwhelmed once again by the blur of colours and fabrics.

I managed to spot Matthew on one of the rooftops; his violet eyes catching mine for a brief second before I changed my direction entirely to face him as I weaved silently between the people. However, as I glanced up again, I stopped in my tracks when I saw Matthew standing with another person, noticing how his posture was one of annoyance and… fear?

I narrowed my eyes as I watched the other man yell at him, while Matthew replied fiercely, his stance growing more defensive by the second. I hesitantly looked to the bell tower, relieved to see that Sadık’s signal wasn’t lit. My attention turned back to Matthew, who seemed very upset that the man was there. I placed the bread in my bag, letting the bonfire in my heart simmer as it warmed my blood to the point where adrenaline coursed in my body, spreading my weight to the front of my leg as I focused. Eyes aflame, I started into a sprint, my feet hardly touching the ground as I smoothly jumped and grasped at any foothold to pull myself up, near leaping onto the roof to defend my best friend.

“Oi! Leave him alone, asshole!” I snapped, sending a punch into the man’s chest while he was still dazed from my sudden appearance. Matthew let out a choked yell of something before I grabbed his wrist and yanked him away, intending to head for the tower again. “Let’s get out of here! I’ve had my fun,” I said, letting go as I took a flying leap onto the next roof, only to see that Matthew hadn’t budged.

“Come on, let’s go!” I growled, taking a step back as Matthew’s shocked expression faded into one of irritation and vague amusement. He tossed his hands up in the air before rubbing his forehead and going over to the stranger, offering a hand.

However, he was too busy staring at me to take it. And I truly had a reason to flee when I saw that gem of a memory bleed into reality.

A flash of green emerald eyes imprinted in my mind, along with bed swept coco hair, fuelled my legs to run faster.

My breaths came out in clouds of condensation at a rapid rate as I dropped into the crowds, my knees nearly bucking from the drop. I didn’t stop to see if he was still following. I couldn’t, not again. He got what he wanted last time, so why stick around for his sake? I had better things to do, like ring the bell and try win back my freedom.

I took a wide arch and melded into the crowds to watch the show, surprised to see Gilbert standing on stage while he finished a song.

“Dance la Elizabeta… Dance!”

And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t impressed when he went up in a burst of smoke to leave behind a majestic creature. The dancer winked as she tossed her flower piece to the aristocracy, namely members of the royal family and… shit.

I backed up further into the crowd when I saw Roderich sitting right there, thanking God for making men so gullible. I staggered away from the enchanting gypsy dancer that had near the entire crowd encapsulated. With a fleeting peek, I continued my journey to the tower, finding myself lost from running on the roof tops. I took way too many turns and ended up in another section of the festival, not too far from where the men still gawked at the hips of the girl called Elizabeta, and immediately I was smitten with the music.

Under any other circumstance, I would have walked away, maybe even been annoyed by the upbeat music, but I hadn’t heard this fucking amazing thing being played in five years and compared to the near constant supply of prayers from downstairs, this was a smidge of heaven I’d found again.

I walked over to the edge of the dance circle, intending to see and maybe even remember how to do the damn dance that went with it. I clapped along with the onlookers, my face still hidden under the maroon hood.

I wasn’t too sure for how long I stood there, my foot tapping the rhythm of the songs as they blurred into one another. It was long enough, however, for my presence to catch two pair of eyes; a bright blue and blood red to be exact.

* * *

 

“Antonie, calm dow- Toni- Antonio Fernández Carriedo!” I flinched as Francis yelled, forcing my rambling to a close, the Frenchman’s face slightly red from trying to get me to stop freaking out. After I’d heard that deep tenor voice and the choice words, the maroon clad figure could not be mistaken for anyone else. And the fact that he ran away from Matthew without a second glance.

Gilbert shook his head in disbelief; the ever-present smirk wavering slightly as he glossed over the crowds. “Listen to moi, yes, the love of your life is alive, but it is not what you came to do, you still have a contract to complete,” Francis reasoned, the shaking in my hands subsiding slightly.

“S-sí,” I sighed, finally falling under my friend’s stern, but necessary, scolding. Due to being one of the oldest members of the Court of Miracles, a retreat for gypsies and a headquarters for the Assassin’s guild -which was run by none other than the Prussian albino currently trying to find Lovino’s cloak- I was tasked with some of the most difficult contracts. The goal this time was probably the hardest I’d had in years. Assassinate Judge Roderich.

It was far easier said than done, considering he had that damn annoying captain, Ludwig, with him at all times. I didn’t dare call him that in front of Gilbert though, he might just murder me himself. They were brothers after all.

I snorted heavily and shifted the longbow on my back, my keen eyesight picking out various areas where I could target the judge, and with Gilbert’s smoke causing both a distraction and escape; it should be a slick job.

I glanced at Gilbert, hoping that I’d get some news on the man who’d captured my heart five years ago. Or maybe it was when his voice had driven one of cupid’s arrows into my chest, far enough for it to withstand the heat of my own passion and make my vision go blurry. Though that might have been the alcohol I’d consumed on those cold and lonely nights, my being lacking the warmth that the fiery Italian provided. And my best friends had listened through it all, the confession, the sobbing and the random bursts of Spanish.

Gilbert shook his head at my unspoken question, the corners of his lips tugging down at my dejected expression. “Come on, Toni, lighten up!” He exclaimed, slapping my shoulder, “I understand you’re upset, but at least you know he’s not gone.” I nodded softly, reverting to a bored look as I scoped out the best spot. “Let’s get it over with,” I dead-panned, missing the worried exchange between my two best friends.

I skipped from roof to roof, watching Elizabeta as she provided the distraction, my attention trained on the man behind her. I settled in a shadowed area on one of the higher roofs, my eyes easily aimed at the Judge. All I had to do is wait for the round of applause, and then he would drop dead.

I went to look for Francis and Gilbert, but as soon as I noticed that the blonde man was gone, my pulse raced. _‘Please… please tell me they found him,’_ I heard my thoughts begging, the night seeming to get colder and colder, even if it was the middle of summer,  without the presence of another.

* * *

 

I hummed the tune softly, trying to dedicate it to memory, my eyes constantly going back to the bell tower. _‘I hope Matthew is okay…’_ I kept looking about for a flash of violet or emerald _-‘Lovino, no! You’re not looking for that bastard!’_ I scolded, struggling to keep the corners of my mouth turned downwards.

But when I turned around, I did not expect to catch a glimpse of blonde hair and blue eyes in the crowd. I narrowed my eyes as the figure got closer, my previously muddled inner-monologue grinding to a halt as the not-so-familiar sway of hips and long stride made my mind go into a meltdown. _‘Act natural; h-he’s not looking for you! You’ll be-‘“_ Hello, Lovino, do you-” _‘Oh shit’_. “Fuck!” I yelped, making an all-out sprint in a random direction, the memories that kept reincarnating themselves overwhelming my sense of reality.

The floor swayed as I took a sharp turns, my breath coming out in heavy pants as I pushed myself to the limit to run from the past for the second time tonight. I slowed down to look around for the blue waistcoat, nearly making myself sick from spinning in circles. I exhaled heavily and took a step forward, trying to push past another bastar- my eyes snapped up to meet the twinkling ones of Francis Bonnefoy, the chance of escape next to nothing.

“It is very rude to run away when someone is talking to you,” He stated, amusement hidden in the core of his speech. My fists clenched at my sides, eyes burning bright under the candlelight. “What if I don’t want to talk to you, _fuckface_ ,” I sneered, rage bubbling beneath my skin. He seemed more than just surprised at the sudden insult and spit-fire my words held, my deepening scowl turning his smile inside out. “Listen to me, I had to tell you what I had to tell you, you see-“Francis was cut off by an uproar in the crowd, the dazzling gypsy dancer gone in a cloud of magenta smoke, the avid cursing from Francis sending me into more confusion. “We have to go, _now_ “He growled, grabbing my wrist and trying to pull me away from the riot breaking out. “W-what? No, I’m not going anywhere with you!” I hissed, yanking out of his grip and turning to rush back into the crowds, curious to see what was going on.

That was until I was roughly grabbed by a strong pair of hands clad in armour.

“H-hey! Put me the fuck down!” I screeched, my eyes glancing up to look at hauntingly blue eyes and slicked back a hair. The captain of the guard snorted and narrowed his eyes, forcing me onto the stage, my eyes flickering to the fearful face of Roderich, an arrow lodged firmly in his wooden chair, right beside his head. It took me a few seconds before it clicked. The cloak, my sudden sprinting, the shady exchange between me and Francis. He thinks I tried to kill the Judge. “N-no, I didn’t do anything! I swear! I-“ I stuttered, only to be cut off by being chucked onto the wooden deck, the fear near paralyzing as I felt the crimson hood slipping. Once again, the knight in golden armour picked me up, the anger in his eyes gleaming. The panic rose in waves as all eyes turned to me, the sudden amount of dirty glares and snarls clearly defined in the light of the stage. “This is the man who has committed treason against the high court!” The gruff and booming voice next to my ear exclaimed, grasping the back of the hood and jerking it down, “He has-“His voice came to a chocked halt as the entire crowd grew pale as my face was exposed.

He dropped me and stepped away, fear and uncertainty in his movements, as I stood on shaking legs. It began with a horrified cry that spread like wild fire. “It is the ghost of Feliciano Vargas!” A woman screamed, the crowds erupting into choruses of “Demon!” and “Run for your lives!”

I bit back tears as I turned to look at the captain’s shocked and conflicted appearance, my eyes drawn to the other imposing figure that sneered openly at my humiliation and scorning. His eyes glimmered with unsaid words that passed between us, the pain too much for me to bear. I closed my eyes and leapt down from the stage, the mass of citizens parting away as if I was a disease ridden creature rather than a mortified human. To make matters worse, the sky overhead finally let out its own burden, the rain making my misery heavier.

I stumbled into the Church, my breath ragged as I let the sobs accompany the ever-present sorrow. However, I was not expecting to run into the mousy brown hair and forest green eyes I’d seen earlier. Immediately the gypsy tried to come near, only for me to shake my sopping wet hair in denial. “S-stay back!” I pleaded, bracing my back against the oak doors I’d shut behind me. She continued to near, disregarding my begging, her eyes alight with interest and something akin to wonder. I flinched as she wiped at my cheeks, my nails digging into the soft wood beneath my palms as she smiled softly. “You remind me of someone…” She murmured, pulling away and glancing to the awe inspiring windows, the stained glass dull from the lack of light.

I relaxed as she stopped touching my face, but when I tried to run, she caught the edge of my hood, trying to keep me from running. And for the second time in my life, I ended up on the tiled floor with my breath shot from my lungs and a dull ache in the back of my head. _‘Shitty rain, making this damned floor slippery,’_ my inner-monologue continued, my body unable to really sit up properly. “Oh my word, I didn’t mean for that to happen! Are you alright?” She asked, kneeling beside me. “I fucking hope so…” I sighed as I swallowed thickly and tried to sit up, pain exploding in my mind. I let out a strangled gasp before letting my head fall back onto the floor, the world fading into darkness.

* * *

 

I remembered that face. I remembered soft words and smiles that went with that person. However, the eyes and hair didn’t fit, or the harsh lines and bags under his eyes. It was as fleeting as the man he’d dragged on stage, who was gone before the memories would return. Before I even heard Judge Roderich’s commands, I was chasing the shadow that I hoped would lead me back to my memories.

I ignored the biting rain as he started pulling away from me, his frame near lost in the horde of onlookers. I hissed out a low curse as I looked for the deep red cloak, a slash of guilt bleeding out my patience. As I was going to give up, a whisper invaded the buzzing of my anxiousness. “The bells will reveal what you want,” The voice murmured, my eyes barely catching the black cape and silvery hair that melted back into the crowd.

I frowned, wanting to follow the mysterious person, but his words pulled me away, back to the grand stone steps of Notre Dame. I sighed and slowly pushed open the doors, not particularly enthralled with the architecture or soft humming of prayers. Besides, the scene taking place a few feet from where I stood took my full attention.

The gypsy dancer, Elizabeta, crouched over the limp body of the person I had pursued. Out of reflex, I drew my sword, the terrifying sound far too loud in the peaceful air, but it made my presence very clear. Her head snapped up, multiple emotions swirling in her eyes before she grabbed a nearby stand and protectively stood over the near still body.

“Don’t you dare come near him,” She all but growled, the soft features turned sharp by her snarl. “As if you have any right to be closer,” I easily replied, not daring to show irritation through the mask that had gotten me where I was. She huffed as I took cautious steps forward, watching every breath and shift in her stance. I moved as suddenly as possible, making an awful lot of noise as our weapons clashed, careful to keep up the defence so I could find the holes. She blocked easily and even had the audacity to smirk as I kept up the onslaught of attacks, her own jabs breezing past my sides as I dodged.

“What did you do to him?” I growled.

“I did- okay, so I may have grabbed him, but he slipped,” She answered.

“Don’t give me that, you tried to murder him so that it would seem like he was the one to try kill the Judge!”

“E-excuse me?!  I did no such thing!” She cried, finally landing a well-placed hit on my stomach, sending me to the floor as she kept the makeshift weapon poised above my neck. I narrowed my eyes and scoffed, “Then why did you run?” I enquired, her eyes shimmering in the low lighting. She rolled her eyes and placed the stand upright before walking over to the unconscious male, listening to his heartbeat before exhaling. “Do you not see the injustice against my people? Do you not realize that if I had stayed, the blame would have fallen on my shoulders anyway?” She questioned, her points drenching the sights I’d seen, when I’d returned back from war, in a solid feeling of disappointment. I closed my eyes and groaned; standing slowly to look down at the man sprawled out on the floor. “What do we do-?” I was interrupted by the clatter of feet and a very angry blonde.

“What did you do to him, eh?!” He screeched, drawing his bow and nocking an arrow. We both froze as we stared into the violet eyes and scrambled for the truth.

“He tripped, and fell-“

“Well, honestly I’m not too sure-“

“Would you let me spe-“

“Well if you could wait…”

The blonde rolled his eyes and sighed, lowering his weapon as he easily went ignored, slipping towards the unconscious man. We only really realized what was going on when Elizabeta noticed that the red cloak that her foot was rooted on shifted underneath her. Before either of us could pursue the fair haired male, the doors flung open to reveal Roderich.

“Thank you for finding the gypsy, Ludwig,” He sniffed, eyes oddly bright as he took in the sight before him. I frowned and raised an eyebrow, “Sir? When did you give me that o-“It fell into place in my mind, the sudden realization causing my thoughts to go scrambling for a way out. “Claim sanctuary,” I hissed to Elizabeta, her eyes narrowing, “You lead them to me?” She growled. I cursed inwardly and turned back to the Judge, “I’m sorry sir, she claimed sanctuary, I can’t touch her,” I improvised, trying not to let my eyes stray to the blonde who currently was hiding in the shadows with the cloaked figure over his shoulder. I felt her gaze glare daggers into my skin, while Roderich’s pushed in needles, effectively paralyzing my body.

He sighed and tried to stride closer to her.

 “No one’s here to stop us from-“

 “Stay away from her, Roderich.”

Every head turned to the stone stairwell, the candle clenched in the Archdeacon’s hand illuminating his scowl. “You of all people should know not to disobey the rules of the church,” Tino stated, his bare feet making no sound as he stepped down to glare at the Judge, who actually look slightly uncomfortable. “Ah, yes, I suppose so… come Ludwig, let us leave,” He claimed, Tino’s entire expression shifting to one of surprise as his soft eyes fell onto me.

I shuffled under his staring, remembrance steadily crawling forth in his eyes while my own thoughts seemed to bug me. “Ludwig?” The Judge’s voice pulled me further towards the door, even though my heart tugged me in the opposite direction. ‘ _Why do I feel so sad? Like I’m leaving someone?’_ I asked internally, arms folded behind my back as I left, casting one last glance behind, only to catch a glimpse of black cloaks and a flash of two sneaky grins.


	4. Sun kissed Skin and Cupid’s Arrows

I knew I had missed the mark before it ploughed into the wood, probably because the tile under my foot gave way, causing me to nearly go tumbling to the streets below. After a clumsy recovery, I managed to sprint away from the joy, nostalgia and guards.

I adjusted the bowstring pressed to my chest, the reassuring rhythm of my feet splitting the silence. I let my mind run rampant as my heart guided me to my chosen meeting venue. Due to me having been given the contract, I had to make all the plans and make all the decisions, even if everyone knew what building I would choose. I pressed my feet into the worn cracks and pulled my body upwards, using the buttresses to slink into the building, a commotion echoing up the stairs. “…from her, Roderich,” I heard the Archdeacon growl, surprising me, considering he wasn’t one that was easily angered. I quietly strode down the staircase, sliding behind one of the pillars to watch the scene unfolding in front of my eyes. However, they drifted as I caught a shadow slinking in the darkness, the swirling black cape giving away who it was.

I smiled as Gilbert stared at the scene as well, his grin growing as the priest scolded the Judge. I sighed in relief when they turned around and took the long journey back to the oak doors, Ludwig’s golden armour glinting in the candle’s soft glow.

Gilbert and I moved out of our hiding place, throwing two smirks at the Captain before the doors shut, hiding his bewildered expression. We laughed and went over to Elizabeta, who beamed in response to Gilbert’s presence. She flung herself at the Prussian, their laughter exploding in the wide space, my own grin spreading further. She gently pressed a kiss to his lips before they settled down enough to face the problem at hand. “Toni, what the hell happened? You had a perfect shot, more like perfect everything; how the fu- flip did you mess up?” Gilbert questioned, snowy eyebrows raised. “W-well, the tiles under my feet weren’t as stable as I thought they were,” I sheepishly replied, rubbing the back of my neck. He narrowed his eyes in disbelief, but clearly couldn’t find any traces of a lie in my voice, not that I was good at them. He sighed and turned to Elizabeta, hands on hips, “So, how are we gonna salvage this?” He asked, turning the stern gaze to me. “I’m not entirely sure,” I admitted, pulling at the back of my hair out of nervousness.

“Well, we can start with-“Gilbert began, however, he was cut off by a very much surprising and appreciated distraction.

* * *

 

I groaned as I came to, the smell of Matthew’s hair invading my senses. I only truly took full recognition of where I was when various voices floated in the candle lit space. My eyes snapped open as my hazy vision sharpened along with my hearing. “What the fuck Matthew, put me down!” I howled, immediately trying to wriggle out his grip. The sudden silence that followed was deafening, causing my struggles to cease. I tried to set my feet on the ground, determined to face the bastards making such a noise. But as usual the world hated me, and my feet slipped on the edge of the stone steps, my frame slipping from Matthew’s tired grip. I expected the crack of my skull on the tiles as my last fleeting thoughts flickered back and forth between a set of honey and emerald eyes paired with overly toothy grins and soft laughter.

My fall didn’t come.

Instead, I had the near alien pressure applied to my waist and the smell of everything I couldn’t have. _I-it can’t be, he wasn’t m-meant to- why..?_ My thoughts wouldn’t stop chattering, trying to come up for an explanation to have this safe grip on my hips. So as I tried to sort out my mind, I let the world pause for me, for once, before my heart started beating again and my senses to full register how close Antonio was. I scrambled to stand, desperate to leave the arms that swore heartbreak and promises that would be broken. However, they only tightened and dragged me closer. “I thought you were gone,” Antonio breathed into my hair, my eyes fluttering along with my chest, my cheeks igniting. I tried to pull away, but his breathy laughter forced me to pause, my hands already beginning to shake.  “You disappeared without a trace… I tried so hard to forget you, Lovino,” I felt his head drop to snuggle into my neck, “But I don’t know what you did to me, because I can’t forget that night.”

I bit my bottom lip before I slowly pried his hands from my waist, a painful ache in my stomach trying to force me to stay in Antonio’s safe arms. “You bastard… don’t you understand,” I sighed, pushing past Matthew, who was poorly hiding a despairing frown, “No one should remember a fucking ghost.” I was lucky to miss his lunge for my wrist as I sped up the stairs.

Soon, I was curled up in the rafters, wishing all these stupid assassins would leave me alone. “Dude, are you alive?” Alfred called up, while Sadık grimaced as he tried to climb up to my hiding place. They had tried to pull me into an embrace after they saw me rush in with tears gathering in my eyes, but I had easily skirted around their arms before I pulled myself up. “Lovino, come on, you can talk to us,” Sadık affirmed, my heartrate way too high as he kept slipping or losing his balance for a second. I gulped and shook my head, even if they couldn’t really see the movement in the dark. “Please… just leave me the fuck alone,” I hiccupped, squeezing my eyes shut as a frustrated exhale echoed. I heard a soft thump as Sadık gave up and shooed off Alfred, his voice filling the space for a last goodbye. I let my muscles relax and slowly I let the sobs take over, my eyes wanting desperately to close and succumb to sleep, even though I’d probably fall off and plummet to my death or have nightmare ridden dreams.

The sound of the door smashing open jolted me out of the pit I’d dug for myself. I strained my ears to hear the small gasps and dawdling steps, even the occasional rustle. I lay my head back against the wood, wishing the bastard would leave so I could just indulge on the fresh fruit that grew from the tree of self-loathing that resided in my mind. After the peaceful few minutes, I noticed that the footsteps had stopped, successfully making me curious. Taking caution, I slid down lower, hoping that the intruder was gone.

Instead, I ended up discarding my caution for storming over to the tomato bastard who was currently paging through the all the drawings that I’d rather forget about.

“Oi! I didn’t give you permission to look through those, asshole,” I snarled, snatching the papers from the shocked Spaniard and hastily shoving them back into the open drawer. He continued to stare at me with something close to awe or confusion. _It is a rather cute look, considering- No, I can’t let myself get- oh dear god, don’t tilt your head_ \- I internally fought with myself as he leaned closer, probably because I was blushing now and biting my lip to stop myself from smiling. “You drew them, didn’t you?” Antonio asked, his eyes becoming distracting as his grin grew at my ever growing blush. I finally glanced away, furrowing my brows, “Y-yes, now leave, I don’t want you he-“I stopped at the pouting lips and adorable way his eyes lit up as he leaned way too close, batting long eyelashes. I took a step back, trying to quell my fiery cheeks. “O-okay, okay! You can stay for a bit, just s-stop pulling that stupid face!” I yelped, failing to hide the small curl of my lips. That was until he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up into the air, twirling us in such a way that it made my head swim from something other than dizziness.

“Thank you, Lovi!” He cooed, planting a kiss on my cheek before putting me on my feet, his eyes soft and inviting. I spluttered a bit before turning sharply and walking to back to the makeshift balcony, Antonio hot on my heels.

After questioning near everything, he sneakily slid in a topic I really didn’t want to talk about. “So… the drawings, are those of Feliciano?” He asked, bumping my shoulder. “How would you know?” I croaked, unable to look back at those all too gentle eyes. “Because- I, uh…” Antonio continued to stutter and glance around at anywhere but me, “He and I… um, we know each other well,” He finally ground out, my eyebrows furrowing at the present tense.  “Why did you say ‘know’?” I questioned, meeting his gaze with fire in my eyes, his body weirdly tense. “O-oh? I’m a little t-tired is all,” He said, my mind immediately sending warning bells. I growled and rolled my eyes, stepping away from him, my thoughts chasing each other in circles.

“I’ve let you stay for a bit, now leave, I need to sleep,” I hissed, trying to ignore the whining that ensued, the mention of my brother putting me in a sour mood. _I don’t like how he’s lying to me, especially about my brother,_ I thought, unclipping my cloak as I tried to drown out Antonio’s complaints with the memory of the crowd’s chanting, failing miserably. “Can’t I take the siesta with you? Please! There are guards crawling down there!” He continued to rant, eventually sparking my temper. “No Antonio, you brought this upon your-fucking-self!” I yelled, rather satisfied with his flinch, “And I’d rather not hide a handsome bastard assassin in the bell tower!” I huffed, my cheeks once again flaming as I realised what I’d said. I stood defiant as his cheeky grin grew wider and his eyes sparkled.

“Handsome, hmm?” He teased, his begging forgotten in favour of once again invading my personal space. I snorted and moved further into my ‘bedroom’, only to knock into the table in middle of the room, not daring to give into his lilting Spanish accent. “And a bastard,” I shot back, bracing my hands against the oak wood my back was pressed to. “Well…” I heard the soft creaking as he neared me, slipping his arms around my waist, much to my enjoyme- annoyance, “Why don’t you show this ‘handsome bastard’ around?” He purred into my ear, causing shivers to sweep down my back.

“Stop that!” I yelped, shoving at his arms. “Not unless you show me around!” He sung, blowing in my ear, refusing to let up his grip. “N-no! Why would I- HAHA,” I couldn’t really say much more when Antonio decided to assault my sides, a fit of giggles and laughter bursting from my chest. I didn’t need to see his face to know that he was grinning widely.

After the onslaught of sneakily placed fingers, I reluctantly began showing him the bells, amused by the way his face lit up when he saw Emmanuel. “Wow, you really care about these bells, don’t you?” He breathed, spinning in circles as he tried to take it all in. “Well, yes, I don’t have much more to do…” I confirmed, softly punching him in the shoulder as I flicked my head, “I want to show you something.” He paused in mild interest, nodding at me to lead the way. I hesitated before taking his hand and pulling him through the bells to the corner of the tower. I gripped the ladder to the roof’s trap door and climbed with Antonio following my every movement –but I was convinced the bastard’s eyes were glued to my ass.

I flung open the small latch as I pulled myself out and smiled slightly as I saw that the sun hadn’t rose just yet. The wind tugged at our hair as Antonio joined me, both of our bodies relaxed as we waited. “Hey… Lovi?” He gently brushed his fingers on my hand, causing me to stiffen, “What did you mean by a ghost?” I yanked my hand away from the tanned fingers that sought to comfort me, fresh tears exploding in the back of my eyes as I turned away from his caring gaze.

“I-it’s not your fucking b-business,”

“Please tell me, Lovi,”

“Like I’d tell you about… about… shit- never mind, it’s not important.”

He finally grew frustrated and grabbed my shoulder, spinning me around like so long ago, the seriousness in his eyes causing me to falter. “Stop pushing me away, please…” He whispered, his hands moving to my back as he drew me close, my exhausted arms shoving weakly at his chest one last time before I gave in to his comfort. “He was b-burned five years ago…”I sighed, tears sliding down my cheeks as Antonio squeezed me gently, “For loving another man,” He seemed to freeze as I continued, “I simply became a s-shadow of F-Feliciano, and no matter where I am, that’s all I’ve heard and ever will be… He was always the n-nicer one, the one everyone l-loved, all I ever aspired to do was to p-protect him and I even failed at that… so when he was gone, I became ‘the g-ghost of Feliciano Vargas’ and Rom-Lovino Vargas ceased to exist. ”

There was a long silence as I let him hold me, my body too tired to move away. After what felt like hours, he slowly shook his head, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. “No… you’re no ghost, and I don’t think that Feliciano would want you to think of yourself like that…” He murmured, tenderly brushing away the tear tracks on my cheeks. I opened my mouth to shoot down anything he’d said; however, as I glanced at Antonio, I couldn’t help but feel enchanted by the vibrant orbs that had ensnared me so long ago, drawing me closer. His concerned smile reached the already lively eyes, setting off my heartbeat, my hands shaking ever so faintly. “Y-you’re lying…” I whispered, shaking my head in denial. “Why would you think that?” He exclaimed, smile falling. “B-because it’s easy to fucking lie!” _It’s not like it would be the first time_ “And why would you even l-like me?” _Feliciano was the only one who even knew the real me_ “I’m not s-special, d-damnit!” _Not like everyone else I’ve met._ And in one brief magical moment, the world turned bright –even if it lacked the joy- before our eyes adjusted to the new sun’s beams, revealing my tears.

And even after all those years I recognised the gleam in his eyes; pure mischief with traces of a unbreakable kindness. He surprised me by shifting an arm to my hip and tutting in frustration, his eyebrows furrowed. But what really caught me off guard was when he tilted my head ever so gently and slotted his lips against mine, stealing my breath in one explosive instant.

My frame melted into his embrace, unsure of this new feeling and fearful of my cracked and broken heart, yet also so willing to let in this idiot Spaniard, who kept coming back for me. I was dragged from my stupor when he bit my bottom lip, a hardly audible gasp slipping past my lips along with Antonio’s tongue. I let him dominate before we pulled apart for breath, our breathing laboured as I struggled to look away from the emerald eyes that refused to let me go.

“You stupid bastard, what the fuck did you do to me?” I muttered, unable to hide the growing smile, the threats and mocking silent for once. He chuckled and placed a kiss on my forehead, “I fell in love with you, not the ghost of Feliciano,” He replied easily, his hands intertwining with my own. I snorted before I felt disappointment settle in my stomach. “Toni, you can’t stay here,” I said, closing my eyes and prying my fingers from his, “I can’t be seen with another person, let alone an assassin.”

The frown that settled on his expression didn’t fit with the beautiful tanned features. “I’m not letting you disappear again… Not when you’re finally mine,” He growled, surprising me at the sudden bout of possessiveness. His eyes sudden twinkled as he settled his hands on my waist, refusing to budge, “Come with me…” It was a whisper, a dare and a wish all at the same time that he uttered. “I-I can’t just leave,” I murmured, my mind reeling as I thought back to when I’d entertained a similar proposition. “I don’t understand… the people here are cruel and merciless, please, your no ghost, you aren’t tied down!” He asked, frustration evident in his voice, “What is keeping you here, Lovino?”  “I don’t fucking know!” I yelled, resting my head against his chest as to avoid his eyes. There was silence as we simply stood together, both of us mulling over the idea. “I t-told you… you can’t stay here… if they find you-“I diverted, feeling sick from even thinking of his body going up in flames.

Antonio faltered as he noticed my grimace, his grip slipping from my waist. “Promise me you’ll think over it and wait for me,” He breathed, caressing the side of my face with a pained expression on his face. “I’d wait an eternity,” I murmured, his lips pressing an innocent kiss to mine just before he disappeared from my sight, the warmth of the sun not nearly enough to fill the emptiness that took over again or to ease the turmoil I felt in my heart.

* * *

 

No matter how hard I tried to focus on the task at hand, all I could think about was the damn boy and the stranger who had told me to go to Notre Dame. It was about the fifth raid of the day, having found around sixty gypsies who refused to tell where the gypsy dancer, Elizabeta, was. I swear it was becoming obsession with the crazed look in Roderich’s eyes when I’d told him that we’d lost her at the cathedral, especially when I heard him screaming something about ‘hellfire’ when I made my way up the stairs at around five in the morning. My opinion quickly seemed to spread by the looks on the guard’s faces as we trotted over to one of the smaller farms, their old rickety windmill reminding me of all those horror stories that were tucked in my mind somewhere. The Judge continued to sniff and look down on everyone as we once again began the search, feeling rather sickened by the dirty glances that were sent our way.

I pushed my way into the building, sending in men to check the basement and the underside of carpets for hidden trapdoors. Sure enough, there where stowaways, but I went up to the attic to check one last time, even if the owner begged me not to, claiming that there was no one up there. I had simply ignored him and shoved open the door, crawling into the dusty space. My nose immediately itched, causing me to remove the claustrophobic helmet, my eyes adapting to the lack of light. I growled and dropped the helmet, beginning my search, heaving back linen cloth and boxes. That was until I heard a near inaudible sneeze somewhere in the corner. I frowned and approached the back of the roof, entirely alert as I glared at the tower of boxes. I let out a triumphant cry as I toppled the tower, which faded into a confused series of swears. “Come out! I know you’re in here!” I hissed, placing my hands on my hips. As my gruff voice echoed, I heard a very soft sound.

 _Is that…?_ I once again scowled as I tried to locate the sniffling, my keen hearing picking it up from… I ripped back one of the white sheets over a box labelled ‘Tomatoes’ revealing a huddled figure garbed in traditional gypsy clothing. I snorted at the pathetic display, grasping the back of the bright green silk, nearly flinching at my own roughness. Immediately the bawling grew louder as the person was lifted out of the box, the voice way too low for a female, even if the clothing said differently. “P-please, don’t h-hurt me! I did n-no harm I-I promise!” The young male wept, as I placed him on the ground curling up to make himself smaller. “We’ll see about… that…” My mind came to entire halt as the boy opened his tearful eyes, his legs shaking as he tried to stand. I continued to gape as he wiped at his cheeks, pulling off his hood to use as a tissue, revealing bright auburn hair. I choked as his lively golden eyes met with my own baby blue, the memories suffocating. I clawed at my scalp as I tried to stop the flashing pain, my fingers brushing over the deep scar on the top of my head.

_I couldn’t sleep, not when I hadn’t seen Gilbert today. I sighed and held the candle high as I padded down from my room, my black robes unfurling around my feet. I huffed in the cold air of the chamber, my eyes drifting up to the familiar stained glass, before falling down to the crouched figure bathed in the dulled colours of the painted scenes. Softly, I walked towards the shivering boy, his pure white robes melting into the tiles. I didn’t wish to scare him, so I cleared my throat just loud enough to halt the quiet sobs that I only registered when silence invaded the wide space. “Are you okay?” I asked, trying to keep my voice mostly gentle, which was a hard task considering I had such a gruff voice. He gasped and stood in one smooth movement, my heart beating faster as I took in the sight. Molten gold orbs were framed by soft auburn locks, his wet cheeks illuminated by the dim lighting of the candles that were lit near constantly, while he was surrounded by the flecks of colour from the massive stained glass window above. I felt nerves climb up my throat as he gave a shaky smile, hastily rubbing at the tears that wouldn’t stop. “O-oh, me? I… I’m f-fine,” He whispered, my strides closing the distance between us. “Then why are you crying?” I asked, tilting my head to try see those enticing eyes again. He bit his bottom lip and tried to stop himself from following through my icy gaze. However, he relented and risked a glance, the corners of my lips tilting upwards in encouragement. “It’s m-my… my…” He sucked in a huge breath before letting the words slip forth, stunning my body, “Mother… she- well, passed away, to put it lightly…” He breathed, wringing his hands. It was my turn to look away, eyes narrowing as I let my heart drop from my throat to my stomach. “I’m sorry…” I replied just as quietly, lips held in a straight line. I heard a faint mutter of something along the lines of ‘That’s what they all say’ before he side stepped me, his body looking so much frailer than before._

_“You know,” I started, his feet halting, “Someone told me once, that if you cling too tightly to something in the past, you forget the present a-and, it may seem hard, but I don’t think that letting go is all that bad,” I sheepishly stated, remembering what Gilbert had told me when we had been separated from our parents. We stood in silence before he turned slowly on his heel, a friendlier and brighter gleam in his eyes and smile. “Thank you… I think I’ll remember that…” He said, rubbing his arm with a growing grin on his expression which seemed much more at home than the frown. “I’m Feliciano Vargas,” He greeted, stepping close once more to offer his hand, my far bigger one dwarfing it in the handshake. “Ludwig Beilschmidt,” I replied, feeling a soft upturn of my lips as he beamed right back at me._

_I guess that’s where this whole thing began… a handshake and unspoken push._

_-Two years later-_

_I had been waiting for half an hour now. I knew Feliciano usually ran late, but this was unheard of. I breathed out slowly as I wrung my wrists, biting my bottom lip. I near yelped in delight when I heard footsteps, my long cloak hiding the dark grey slacks. “Feli, what on earth kept-“My breath caught as I turned to meet sky blue eyes instead of gold, Francis’s grimace illuminated by the bright moonlight. My eyes darted to the dagger gripped in his hands, tears already sliding down his cheeks. I began backing away, fear pricking at my bravery. “W-where is Feliciano?” I whispered the question like a confession, not daring to think- “Locked away in the prison,” Francis replied, his strides matching my own as he retraced my hasty steps._ ‘No… no please…’ _“N-no, no, this can’t be…” My voice cracked harshly as a laugh left my lips, eyes stinging with tears, “Of course it can… I can’t b-believe I th-thought…” Francis paused, his eyes squeezing shut as he pulled out the blade, my own manic babbling continuing, “W-who was I to think that t-this would be alright?! That me and Feli could,” I choked on ym own words, the simple thought of my beloved locked up somewhere cold and afraid spurring the tears to fall onto the ground. It ceased, however, when he dropped the silver weapon onto the cobblestones, breaking out into sobs. “I-I can’t kill –sniff- people! I m-may not be the b-best Catholic, b-but this?! To kill my best f-friend’s brother?” He cried, grasping at his own robes in an attempt to comfort himself as he fell to his knees, wailing in the light of the stars. I stared in utter disbelief, horrified to see such a proud person breakdown like this. I felt sympathy, but only a tinge that made me to make small shuffled steps forward, considering that his guilt and burden was probably enough torture on its own._

_Before I could interject, he hushed his own sorrows with a new light in his eyes. A devious smile stretched across his features, his eyes meeting mine as I could practically see the plan formulating in his head. He stood with a flourish, grabbing my hand as I spilt out protests, his face falling into a dead serious façade. “Hush! I have an idea that might just save you both,” He exclaimed softly as we rushed along the streets of Paris. I followed without complaint, knowing that when Francis stuck to something, it was going to be completed. I stumbled along until he pulled us to the stables, sneaking into the stalls from the open windows. “Take the horse called Jean,” He instructed, his own feet going straight to a stable with the name ‘Joan’ carved into the wood. I crept to the stable door labelled ‘Jean’ and opened the lock, quickly grabbing the tack and saddling the chestnut horse, just how Gilbert had taught me. I slung my leg over his back before leading out the horse to join Francis, who motioned for me to stick close._

_I shivered as we began the canter down the back alleys, struggling to keep up with Francis’s tight turns. As we stopped near the heart of the city, close to the graveyard, I saw the way his eyes sparkled, glancing at me with a large grin. “Well, be prepared to meet your new family Lud-“He was cut off by an arrow which soared in between our horses, burrowing into the wood centimetres from his head. Unfortunately, I was not prepared for the buck. If I had been, then things would have been much different. I would not have been plagued by honey orbs and dreams of midnight kisses that set my bones afire or forget about a brother that protected me like a pirate his treasure. But fate was never a kind mistress. My stirrups slipped and the reins fell from my hands, the last sound that rung in my ears was my own blood and Francis’s cry of “No!” before the last 19 years of my life drained from the hole in my head to the soil._

And yet I now stood here, still in the same position seven years ago, struck down on the spot with hypnotic eyes that refused to leave.

The honey orbs, that had caused this mess, widened in recognition with fresh tears glazing his eyes as he grabbed my wrists with long and gentle fingers. A blinding yet caring smile spread along the soft features that I’d come to forget until a few hours ago, no thanks to a bitter Italian. “I-is it really you?” He whispered, eyes full of fear and hope, while I could hardly stop the darkness sinking into my skull, “Please… is it you, Ludwig?” I bit my bottom lip, holding back my own tears as I leapt over the doubts in a single moment, pressing a kiss to this person who had haunted my dreams for five years. His eyes widened before slipping close, returning the kiss that was deepened in less than a few seconds. We pulled apart for breath, after about a three minute make-out session, our pupils dilated from the hunger for each other only being given a taste. I remembered so much. The midnight strolls, the soft promises uttered under the moon and the passionate kisses that stole my breath away. I sighed shakily, resting my forehead against his, our breath mingling in a dusty attic that shouldn’t really be able to hold the weight of my armour.

 Before we could get another word in, a voice called down from the stairs, beckoning for my presence. I cursed under my breath, before looking into Feliciano’s –the lovely name I had been nagged by for way too long- begging eyes, wishing me to stay. “N-no, not again, please-““I can’t stay, we both know that… I promise to come back,” I ground out, struggling with my conflicting ideas from my mind and heart. I found myself in an oddly strong hug before my beloved pulled away, returning to his hiding place, barely catching the low mumble.

 _“Never make a promise you can’t keep…”_ Feliciano’s words haunted my thoughts as I trudged down the stairs with my constricting helmet digging into my head, forcing my feet in the wrong direction. I nodded to the family before I shouldered my way out, claiming that there was no one else inside. Roderich smirked and nodded, his eyes gleaming as he watched the family cower away from the door. He slammed the door shut and flung a bar over it, the psychotic shimmer in his eyes causing me to falter. “What are you-?” I was cut short when he passed a torch to my hands, confusion passing over my features. Seeing my questioning gaze, Roderich gestured to the building, a rather malicious grin marring his handsome face. “Set it on fire,” He commanded, pulling his horse back as he stared expectantly at me. I backtracked, eyes wide and horrified. “S-sir, I mean no disrespect, but there is an honourable family-“”Are you questioning my leadership?” He growled, a deep scowl replacing his grin. I narrowed my eyes and turned to the thatch building, wondering how many innocent lives I’d been told to execute. With this new revolution and disgust, I dumped the torch into a barrel of water outside the house, crossing my arms as Roderich sighed, grabbing another torch from the guards. “You had such promise, Ludwig,” He drawled, waving around the torch, “But as usual, you are simply another failure,” and just like that he tossed the burning piece of wood onto the thatch which was greedily consumed by the fire.

I had little to no hesitation as I broke down the door, while the other guards backed away. I sprinted into the house, leading the small family out, before charging back in to try get back to the attic, my heart clenching in panic as to what I would find, not really thinking through the consequences. My eyes stung as my vision was blurred, fear clawing up my stomach as I watched the embers from the fire flicker down to the burning boxes and linen. But, what I did not expect at all was to see two figures. The taller man swiftly picked up the delicate form of Feliciano, who seemed unconscious by the way his head lulled backwards and his arms dangled. “Hey! Don’ you dare-“I stopped as the smoke cleared for a split second, revealing a flash of silver hair and red eyes. The man smirked and vanished in a puff of maroon smoke, the stranger that would not stop appearing and disappearing causing my head to swim.

Even as I tried to stagger over to the place where he vanished, the wood under my feet groaned in protest, my hearing picking up the splintering as I put weight on my foot. I cursed my heavy armour and build, retracing my steps as more gaping holes began to appear. I coughed and stumbled down the stairs, my eyes quickly finding an escape out of instinct. I rushed forward and crashed through the window, rolling out into the grass, hacking and spluttering to get a breath of fresh air. The Judge had the audacity to look impressed, his eyebrows shooting up as I stood on shaking legs. I raised my head high, unwilling to go down as a coward. The guards raised their bows and crossbows, all aimed at my heart which held no fear for death. It only held the love I had for Feliciano.

And I waited for it to stop beating.

Yet, it surged with adrenaline when the stone came flying, knocking out not-so poor Roderich, who fell from his horse in a glorious buck. I didn’t have time to hesitate, or to look at the group of gypsies who hid the bright green-eyed woman, with the few second distraction. So I grabbed the reins and slipped onto the horse easily, my eyes burning with terror and pure relief. Nerves came crashing back as I remembered that night from the fresh set of memories, but my body took over with a harsh jab from my heels, sending the black Frisian into a canter. I kept as low as I could, considering arrows started flying at me from all directions, nicking at the cobblestones and the horse’s hooves as I made for the bridge. I grinned as everything started looking- It was an unfortunate to end to my luck when an arrow slipped into the junction between my shoulder and torso, piercing the soft flesh underneath. I gasped as I slipped off the spooked horse and into the gloom of unconsciousness, falling under the murky water of the river below.

* * *

 

You couldn’t blame me for passing out when I saw the flames. It was every nightmare coming back to haunt me, setting fire to the burns coating my legs and hands. I had known that Antonio’s little ‘show’ would frighten the guards, but an all-out search for one person? Now that was surprising. But the fire truly caught me off guard. It seemed like the Judge had finally lost it.

I woke up to warm hands and strong arms, my eyes fluttering open in surprise. “L…Ludwig?” I questioned, my vision blurry from the smoke and sleep. “Sorry, Feli,” The rough German accent belonging to Gilbert, the person I owned my life to. I sighed and lay my head back as I noticed the smell of smoke, my eyes darting around to figure out where we were. I quickly realised that we were still nearby the farm, hidden in a crowd of familiar faces. I struggled from the albino’s grip, which he reluctantly gave up, his eyes seeming sorrowful. I followed his gaze to the scene that had captured everyone’s attention. I felt my heart die and my mind shut down, my throat closing. “No… no, please,” The plead was near silent as I watch in horror as the guards aimed their weapons at their captain, the growing smirk on Roderich’s face sickening. I snarled and grabbed a stone from the dirt, passing it to Elizabeta without a word, her own smouldering gaze enough. With a perfect swing, the stone went soaring, striking the creepy Judge in the forehead, Ludwig’s face one of bewilderment. I felt a sigh of relief as he swung himself onto the horse, a soft smile gracing my features. He was around halfway across the bridge, and it seemed like the impossible was in reach, but one well-placed arrow sent him tumbling to the water, a sharp gasp leaving my lips. I had no hesitation to creep down to the water’s edge, eyes searching the water in desperation. I was quickly joined by Elizabeta and Gilbert, the latter wasting no time in jumping into the water, quickly diving underneath the strong current. I dared to try going in after him, but Elizabeta’s grip stopped any rash decisions, my feet sinking into the river’s banks. I choked out a sigh as Gilbert surfaced with his larger brother, determination etched into his grimace.

As he fell onto the mud in complete exhaustion, I rushed to their sides, removing the heavy armour from Ludwig’s shivering body and hiding it in the thick reeds. I first examined the deep wound, a breath of relief tumbling from my lips as I heard a faint heartbeat, turning to Gilbert to check he wasn’t hurt in anyway. After the diagnosis, I turned to Elizabeta, who had begun speaking. “Where should we take him? We can’t take him back to the Court of Miracles, we’d be seen and you can’t do much with nothing,” She stated, looking for answers in my honey depths, my mind falling to an old answer. “Notre Dame, I have an old friend there that can help us,” I decided, going to Gilbert’s side to help him stand. “Funny… I saw someone who looked just like you yesterday,” She murmured, the hope sparking in my chest uncontrollable. “You couldn’t have… It’s simply not possible,” I denied, trying to assure myself of my brother’s death. “So did I, now that you mention it,” Gilbert croaked, slipping an arm around Ludwig’s shoulders, along with Elizabeta, who looked expectantly at me. I bit my bottom lip, shaking my head. “Let’s just go,” I sighed, beginning the long trek to the centre of the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long!  
> I've been without Wi-Fi for a bit and been a bit of a rocky vacation so far. But hey, we saw a bunch of Cheetah and shit so it's had its ups and downs.


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